Valora’s Rants

Right, so I was down in Orlando last night, went to Dream's interfed. Got a few things to say.  First off the bat, I know why no one wanted my ass in that cell, because WMW would have actually WON the damn thing.  But no, we got Kronin, handpicked by Sault St. Marie and what does he do?  Chokes.  He was obviously the most talented man in that ring, and yet he found a way to screw the pooch.  Next time Sault, send me, unless of course, you mean for us to keep losing.

-Sigh- I swear I'm surrounded by fucking idiots.

I don't know maybe someone should book a tournament, series of one on one matches.  Maybe that will be more Kronin's speed.  He's great in singles matches, tends to drop the ball in multi-person matches.  To be fair, he came close to winning but then again, close only counts in Horseshoes and hand grenades.  I don't know, maybe AWS Man is right and he is more deserving of a shot at my belt then Kronin is.  Maybe I'll just tell Kronin to show me can come through in the clutch.  Cause right now…I'm sitting in a spot where I've seen you come through in the clutch but in every big time match we've had in 2010, and he's about to lose another couple of big matches come Groundhog Slay.

This brings us to the inevitable question.  "Well what would have happened had you gone, Valora?"  Well, I'll tell you what would have happened.  I woulda beat the shit out of 5 other people and someone would have gotten an Aztec moonsault.  Who knows, maybe I would gone outside the cell and delivered it outside to in on one of them, But one thing is for sure, WMW would have won had I been sent in.  Now yes, I know people will bitch and moan calling me a sore loser.  But I'm not.  I'm not saying WMW should have won, or anything like that.  I'm simply saying I think Sault St. Marie picked the wrong person for the job, and I'm an equal opportunity critic.  If I think my own fed fucked up somewhere, I'm gonna call them on it.

Now, let's see… what else has me pissed off as of late…  I bet people are expecting me to go on a rant about Adam challenging the damn groundhog to a match, but I'm not.  I said I expected a slain groundhog or a groundhog slaying someone for some truth to our name and Adam went and decided to deliver one of those things to me.  It's kind of sweet, in a crazy, psychotic sort of way.

Ah yes!  Let's talk about Sam Hershey 2.0 or Padre Nate as I've taken to calling him.  Padre Nate says that he's shocked, simply shocked and appalled to find such a corrupt, sinful environment here in Pro-Wrestling and has sworn to do something about it.  First off… why the fuck are you surprised?  This is Pro-Wrestling, not Mr. Rogers fucking neighborhood.  As for cleaning up our act… careful Padre.  That kinda talk got Sam Hershey sent out of here, crying like a little bitch as he left.  Piss off too many people and that will be your fate too.

Oh, another thing pushing my buttons, and this one goes out to the clusterfuck of monkeys that call themselves WMW Management.  How the fuck about some singles matches, huh?  I mean don't get me wrong, Umbrage and I are unbeatable as a team and he's a shitload of fun in the bar but a month straight of tag matches?  There's gotta be someone dumb/brave enough to get into the ring with me one on one.  You assholes should get to finding that person and setting it up so I can kick their ass.

Fuck's sake, there are times when I feel like I am or should be running things around this place…

Oh, and before any loudmouths in WMW tell me to put my money where my mouth is, Tune in to Groundhog Slay.  Umbrage and I will beat the golden boys of WMW, RyKro down like the whipping boys they really are.  They later on, I get to kick the shit out of Kronin in the All-In.   Unlike certain people in WMW and outside it, I back up my talk.  Speaking of which, I'm late to meet up with Umbrage for some training.  Back later.