Valora’s Blog 3

Well folks, another Graveyard Shift has come and gone, Kronin is likely on a beach somewhere in Orlando, and most importantly, I'm bored so it's about that time for another installment of my blog, and I have some boring official shit I have to get out of the way.

Firstly, you might have noticed the title has changed.  This was, obviously, intentional on my part.  Anyone who reads these likely has realized the little spat the last one started.  Now, as my so called opponents have proven to be about as smart as your average 6th grader, they have been thoroughly rebuffed, outwitted, run circles around, and any other cliche you want to use for having their asses verbally handed to them, but, due to whole, not the sharpest tool in the shed problem they have, they don't seem to get it.  So between that, and some official duties that I've been 'volunteered' for, WMW management preferred I take a more 'Official' sounding title.  It'll force certain people to use all 3 or 4 of their brain cells, so I decided to go with it.

Now, you might have noticed, unless you're not paying attention, in which case you should wake the fuck up, that I mentioned there was some official stuff being added to these.  Well here comes.  Jane Coughlin, WMW reporter will be doing this as well, I'm told, but the geniuses in WMW Management have decided that it would be really cool for me to give my take on the GLC division since I'm currently on top of it, and the WMW.  Slightly less official then that, I've added my own feature where I'm going to be giving what I think is the soundbite or piece of trash talking of the week.  So, stay tuned for that shit, cause this week's is pretty damn good if I say so, myself.

Now, I'm sure the new members of my fan club are waiting for me to comment on a few things, but I'm going to hold off on that as there are more important matters to cover first.

Firstly, If any of you saw the match tonight, then you noticed that a certain person who has no business getting involved in a match, got involved in a match.  Lilly, you need to remember that your business is to stand there, do the rah-rah thing for Kronin and look pretty.  You wanna step up and play with the big boys and big girls, you better be able to back it up.  I owe you payback for that little shot, and I'm gonna get it.  Sooner or later.  Consider this your final warning to stay outta my business, bitch.

Well since that is as good a lead in as you're going to get from me, let's go to the new trash talk/soundbite of the week.  This first edition's comes from Kronin, who I was quite sure couldn't trash talk if his life depended on it but damn if he didn't go and prove me wrong.  Kronin promised those of us in WMW that he would go all out for his caged hell match tomorrow and he dug deep and found that he has some balls after all.  This excerpt comes from his recent promo for the caged hell match in which he addresses Appalachian Wrestling's C.R.I.P:  

Kronin: Tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you a special, limited edition, autographed copy of Death by Metal to take back to Louisiana with you. Then you can brag to your friends and show them the 'I got my ass kicked by Kronin and all I got was this concussion' T-shirt I give out with my ass kickings

I don't know about you, but I laughed my ass off at reading that, though, I hate to break it to Kronin, with that emotional outburst, he lost his contest of who is the most vulcan like to Jade.  Who knows?  Maybe Kronin will finally get the message and show us a bit of that emotion here in WMW. 

And, that also brings us to the end of my first new addition to this bitch.  Wasn't so hard, was it?  Maybe in later editions, I'll give honorable mentions or something but for right now, I want to see how creative and entertaining people can be.

Which brings me now, I suppose, to the part WMW Management would like me to do.  Champ's view of their division.  Not like there's much to cover here.  3 fucking people in the Great Lakes Division.  Me, AWS Man, Kronin.  Two people who should be here, are wasting their fucking time in lower divisions.  Jade got fucked over to keep the division a good ol' boys club and instead of kicking ass and doing something about it, she ran off, disappeared for a couple of months, and came back in the Shoot Division where her only competition was sir gimpsalot, aka Jack Reynolds and Amariie.  Then there's Hecate, hiding out in the Heartlands division.  She knows she's better then that division yet refuses to move up.  Normally, I'd say she were afraid of tougher competition, but then WMW Management continues to throw softball opponents like Damian fucking Knight.  This guy makes Shank look like a great wrestler.  But anyways, the GLC division.  What's to say?  I'm Champ.  The first championship belt I won here in WMW was the Hardcore Championship.  I set a record for longest ever reign as said Hardcore champ, beat everyone in my division 2 sometimes 3 times, ended 3 or 4 careers and finally decided to take pity on the poor fucks and retired the belt, citing no competition, and reserving the right to bring it out if some competition were to show itself.

Then, within a month of retiring the Hardcore title, I went down to Mexico City and beat the living shit out of Ryven to take hold of the Ace Superior Championship, the same Ace Superior Championship that a certain loud mouthed so called Hardcore Artist failed to win in two attempts.  Then fast forward a couple of months and a few defenses later and boom.  Frostbite Brawl.  I win the Great Lakes Championship.  The trend here?  Once I get gold around this sexy, Latina waist of mine, I don't lose it.  That means AWS Man and Kronin are going to be without gold for a long, long time, unless they move to other divisions or find a way to change history.  My goal for the GLC is the same as it was for the Hardcore, same as it was for the ASC.  Set a record for longest reigning champion.  So I guess I'm saying come and get me if you can boys.  Now, one interesting note.  This coming Thursday, Groundhog Slay in WMW, featuring the All-In Challenge.  The chance for one lucky WMW star to come out and get a chance at my belt.  Let me be clear on this.  There is no one in WMW currently that I can't beat.  Yes, even you, Hecate.  Already the accusations have started that if I win, I'll pick an easy opponent, someone like a Damian Knight or a Shank, just to ensure a successful title defense.  To them I say, fuck you.  I beat Justin Evers in a Texas Death Match.  I beat Adam Pyre in a Hardcore Hell match and a Gates of Hell match.  Do I seriously look like someone who needs an easy match?  I have chosen my opponent already in case I win the All-In Challenge, it will be someone who deserves it and if it goes down, it will be an epic, instant classic sort of confrontation.

Right, so done with the boring official shit now, time to get back to being me.  I was reading the news earlier today, seems like Scottywood is no longer GM of HOW.  Great move, I wouldn't want a 5th grader running my damn shows either.  Looks like Lee Best and the adults in HOW are trying to stop the trend of dropping ratings on their shows.  We'll see what happens.  In the meantime, however, time to get back to the 5th grade wonder,
Scottywood-if-he-could.  I've taken notice of your challenge for the Great Lakes Championship if you manage to beat me in Chicago.  I said I'd be willing to discuss that, then few days go by, no trash talk, no contact, and during that time, your radio show comes on.  Now to be fair, I noticed that I did get an invite to appear on that, which I didn't notice until I checked my twitter after the show.  But I hear all sorts of things, kicking around ideas, want me to beat other HOW stars before I beat you?  Sure why not?  How bout Kirsta Lewis?  She consistently runs up in the top of the EWTorch rankings with me, let's hook up and let the fans see who's better.  I'll let you guys sort out your end.  On my end, I got called into Sault's office.  I'm told WMW Management will make their views known shortly, if I get bored of waiting, I'll tell people what they said.  Bottom line though is it's pretty fucking insane and stupid to ask for a title shot when you aren't risking something equal.  Just remember Scotty.  You started this little spat and it's about to blow up in your face big time when I beat your ass to a pulp and sooner or later, I will get my hands on you and when I do, the Hardcore Artists will just be my latest work of art.  Make fun of my styles I know, my finishing moves all you want.  I got a dozen different ways to put your punk ass down for the count.  Be it my Aztec Moonsault, a lead pipe to the head, fucking defibrillators, or anything else I need, I will beat some respect into you. 

You know, it's funny.  You and the like, two or three buddies you have like to go on about how worthless a fed we are and how big and bad HOW is, simple question.  If we're so far beneath the notice of the great and mighty HOW, why you guys picking a fight.  I have to give Kronin credit once more.  He was dead on.  WMW doesn't pick fights.  But you come at us and pick a fight with us, we will fucking bury you.

And on that cheerful note, time for me to get back to work.  I got me an All-In Challenge and some tag team titles to win, and unlike some people, I actually take what I do very seriously.  Time to hit the gym and train, and then Umbrage and I will be back to our usual spot in Cleveland, doing training of a different kind.  Once again, questions or just about anything else can be sent to valora@wrestlingmidwest.com  If you're lucky, I might even respond to them in my blog here.

Adios.

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