Shank Show, Webisode 1
Posted: November 9th, 2009 | Category: General News | 1 Comment »
The Lineup:
Hecate
Adam Pyre
AWS Man (also known as Bill)
Valora
The Shank Show, Webisode 1 - On a stage in the Bosque de Chapultepec, Mexico City, Mexico - November 9th, 2009
Part of Shank Show Where Shank Welcomes Fans of Shank to new Shank Show on WrestlingMidwest.com
[The shot opens up to show a black curtain. As the curtain begins to pull apart, a drum beat begins to play, followed by a sweet ass bass groove. The camera pans back a bit to show Tim Tyler cranking on the bass. The curtain continues to pull a part and out walks WMW Superstar Shank, wearing a brown suit, with no tie. A couple of doo-op singers sing the name "Shank" in various ways that blend beautifully with the sound of the bass and drums. The shot also shows a live crowd who have gathered around the stage in the Bosque de Chapultepec in Mexico City. Shank walks towards the camera with a smile and a noticeable limp. The music stops with a huge symbol crash on the drum set. The live-audience claps and cheers Shank. Shank waves.]
Shank - SHANK WELCOME FANS OF SHANK TO THE SHANK SHOW!
[The crowd pops.]
Shank - THIS IS SHANK SHOW! NEW SHANK SHOW ON WRESTLINGMIDWEST.COM! SHANK THANK TIM TYLER FOR SWEET ASS GROOVE OF BASS!
[At that, the drummer does a quick drum beat, with Tim playing some snap bass lines, before turning it back to Shank.]
Shank - SHANK THINK TIM TYLER AWESOME ON BASS! ALMOST AS AWESOME AS SHANK IS IN RING OF MIDWEST WRESTLING! HEY-O! NO, BUT SERIOUSLY, SHANK THANK ALL PEOPLES FOR WATCHING ON COMPUTER AT WEBSITE OF MIDWEST WRESTLING! SHANK HAVE 4 GUESTS TO TALK TO TONIGHT! SHANK INCLUDE CURRENT CHAMPION OF HEARTLANDS, HECATE!
[The crowd gives a pretty decent cheer.]
Shank - ADAM PYRE!
[The crowd gives a pretty decent boo.]
Shank - YEAH, SHANK NOT LIKE ADAM PYRE, EITHER! BUT, SHANK ALSO HAVE VALORA!
[The crowd pops.]
Shank - AND, OF COURSE, CURRENT CHAMPION OF GREAT LAKES AND ONE HALF OF CHAMPIONS OF MIDWEST TAG LEAGUE, AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)!
[The crowd boos heavily. Shank looks around and smiles.]
Shank - THERE LOT FOR SHANK TO TALK ABOUT THIS WEEK! LIKE, EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS! IT LIKE, LESS THAN WEEK AWAY! SHANK BEEN READY! HECK! SHANK HERE IN MEXICO CITY ALREADY, AND MEXICO CITY WEIRD TO SHANK! LIKE, SHANK WALK OUT OF HOTEL ROOM AND WALK A BLOCK, AND THERE ON STREET! SHANK CAN GET FOOD AT ZOCOLO SQUARE! IT LIKE, SUPER MARKET OF OUTSIDE! SHANK CAN GET TACO! SHANK CAN GET CORN ON COB! SHANK CAN GET FLAUTA! SHANK CAN GET BOX OF CIGARETTE WITH THE CAMEL FOR 10 PESO! NOT LIKE CLEVELAND! CLEVELAND, SHANK GET FOOD FROM STREET AND ALL SHANK HAVE TO CHOOSE FROM IS HOT DOG! ... GYRO! ... ACT OF SEX WITH UNEMPLOYED ALCOHOLIC OF STREET.
[The drummer does a quick rimshot, while the crowd has a laugh with Shank.]
Shank - BUT, SHANK THINK FOOD DELICIOUS HERE IN MEXICO CITY! VERY GOOD FOOD! OH, AND HERE'S SOMETHING INTERESTING TO SHANK! DID TIM TYLER FEEL THE EARTHQUAKE THIS MORNING?
Tim Tyler - Boy, when you get to be my age you feel an earthquake in your joints every morning.
Shank - KNOW WHAT SHANK HEAR? SHANK HEAR EARTHQUAKE DID 1-MILLION DOLLARS... OF IMPROVEMENTS!
[Another rim shot, but this time, the crowd doesn't laugh at that joke. Shank throws the finger guns out to the crowd.]
Shank - BECAUSE MEXICO CITY IS NOT BUILT VERY GOOD! AND IT DIRTY!
[Shank shakes his head and laughs. The crowd, if not booing, are silent.]
Shank - HEY! SHANK HEAR THAT THERE LOT OF UNHAPPY PEOPLES HERE IN MEXICO CITY, BECAUSE OF NEW STAR TREK MOVIE!
[Tim makes a disgusted noise.]
Tim Tyler - You know, if there's one thing that makes old Tim Tyler here mad, it's hearing people who have no alternative bitch about the things they've been given. Mexico produces emotionally sappy, sexually perverted, morally disturbing movies all year long instead of spending that money on things like urban renewal, or English classes so that when they invade the States they can actually order at a McDonalds, and then when they get a perfectly good, FREE movie made in their FAVORITE CONTRY, the US of A, they whine and complain because the torture scene wasn't explicit enough, or because no one has sex with a woman in a coma, or there are no botched backwoods abortions. COME ON, Mexico, what the hell do you want? You take and take and take, and then when we GIVE you something you spit it back out. In my day this wouldn't have been tolerated. We would have sat through a canon-raping (albeit entertaining) movie filled with vaguely nonsensical technobabble, and we would have LOVED it! We would have WEPT when Spock's mother died! We would have CHEERED when future Spock saves present Spock! We would have subtly jerked off in our seats to the green babe. Actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure what Mexico's problem was with this movie, because now that I think about it, it seems to fufill all of their lax standards anyway. Hah! Like Mexico has any right to judge OUR tastes! They eat CORN AND MAYONNAISE for crying out loud. And what the hell is with ponchos? Why would I want to wear a garment that reveals my entire midsection every time I raise my arms to blow my nose or give someone the finger? Who the hell wears a poncho in 100 degree heat, anyway? It's not like your average chunky Mexican is sweating off any water weight wearing those ugly things.
Shank - HEY, SHANK LIKE MOVIE, TOO, TIM TYLER! BUT, SHANK GUESS PEOPLES IN MEXICO NOT HAPPY BECAUSE, NO ONE ON STAR TREK WAS FROM MEXICO!
[There are some boos from the crowd.]
Shank - YEAH! SHANK HEAR THAT PEOPLES THAT MAKE MOVIE NOT WANT TO HIRE PEOPLES FROM MEXICO FOR MOVIE, BECAUSE - PEOPLE FROM MEXICO IN FUTURE NOT WORK EITHER!
[The mostly Mexican crowd continues to boo.]
Shank - OH! AND DID TIM TYLER SEE FIRE OUTSIDE HOTEL THIS MORNING? OH, BIG PROBLEMS!
Tim Tyler - Mexico IS a big problem.
Shank - YEAH, OH, FIREMEN ABLE TO PUT OUT FIRE! IT JUST, FIREMEN NOT ABLE TO TELL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JOSE AND HOSE B!
[More crowd boos.]
Shank - LET GIVE UP WHAT PEOPLES GIVE TO TIM TYLER AND THE ALAN WRENCHES!
[Shank points to the band as they begin to rock it out. He walks over to his desk, as the camera focuses in on Tim Tyler. He tells the band to end the song, and after a few more bars, they do. He points it back to Shank. The camera obliges. Shank is still laughing to himself.]
Shank - JOSE AND HOSE B! THAT GREAT! OH, WELL - LIKE SHANK SAY BEFORE, IT ONLY A FEW DAYS FOR EL DIA '09 AND SHANK CAN'T WAIT! EVERY TITLE ON LINE! BEST FRIEND OF SHANK, JACK REYNOLDS WILL FIGHT AMARIIE FOR SHOOT CHAMPIONSHIP! WHICH MEAN, JACK REYNOLDS NEW SHOOT CHAMPION! IT BE GREAT! AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) TAKE ON KRONIN FOR GREAT LAKES CHAMPIONSHIP! AND, ALL THOUGH JACK REYNOLDS GIVE KRONIN SHOT BY WINNING AT GS100, THAT NOT MEAN KRONIN WIN! LET SHANK BE HONEST! KRONIN NOT VERY GOOD!
[The crowd boos.]
Shank - OH, COME ON! SERIOUSLY! KRONIN NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING! KRONIN NOT GOOD AT HOLDING ACE SUPERIOR CHAMPIONSHIP! KRONIN NOT GOOD AT EARNING SHOT AT GREAT LAKES CHAMPIONSHIP! KRONIN NOT EVEN VERY GOOD AT STAYING FRIENDS WITH TAG TEAM PARTNER! WHAT KRONIN GOOD FOR? IF KRONIN FROM MEXICO, KRONIN WOULD BE CALLED A MEXICAN'T!
[The crowd continues to boo. Shank shakes his head.]
Shank - SHANK NOT SURE SHANK LIKE IT HERE IN MEXICO! THIS GOOD MATERIAL! FANS OF SHANK OF CLEVELAND VERY HAPPY FOR JOKES OF SHANK! ANYWAY, WHAT ELSE TO HAPPEN AT EL DIA? OH! THAT RIGHT! SHANK FINALLY SEE HECTARE LOSE CHAMPIONSHIP AFTER AUDRIE KICK TEETH OF HECTARE DOWN THROAT OF HECTARE! IT BE GREAT!
[The crowd boos.]
Shank - BUT, SHANK NOT HERE TO JUDGE! SHANK HERE TO ASK QUESTIONS! SO, NOW PART OF SHANK SHOW WHERE SHANK ASK QUESTIONS TO FIRST GUEST OF SHANK SHOW! HECTARE!
[As Shank walks back to his desk, Hecate walks out of the back, letting her head bob a bit to the riff and grins. She reaches Shank and shakes his hand, before she steps back from Shank's desk and slides into the guest chair. He walks around his desk and sits down. The music stops.]
Hecate - Thank you for asking me to be on the first Webisode of the new and improved Shank Show. I like the music selection, might have to see about getting for my collection.
Shank - HOW ABOUT NO! NOW, HECTARE! HECTARE HOLD HEARTLANDS CHAMPIONSHIP FOR, WHAT? 3 MONTHS! HECTARE THINK HECTARE REPRESENT HEARTLANDS LIKE TRUE CHAMPION OF HEARTLANDS?
[Hecate adjusts the Heartlands Championship belt on her shoulder and leans back in the guest chair a small smile on her lips.]
Hecate - Have I been a good Champion? I would like to think I have, better than you ever were that's for sure. I haven't ducked any one who's wanted a shot at the belt and even supplied a few suggestions to Sault St. Marie for exciting matches to determine who would be able to face me. Now, they weren't necessarily used but that was more circumstances with those involved with the matches than the match concepts themselves I believe.
Shank - AH, SO - HECTARE HONESTLY BELIEVE HECTARE GOOD CHAMPION! SERIOUSLY...! ALL RIGHT, THEN! WELL, LET SHANK ASK HECTARE THIS! SHANK MEAN, AUDRIE MCLAUGHLIN, LIKE - CAME OUT OF NOWHERE SHANK HAD EVER SEE! AND, AUDRIE MCLAUGHLIN HAVE ONLY HANDFUL OF MATCHES, AND EARN SHOT AT HECTARE! THAT REMIND SHANK OF HOW HECTARE WON SHOT AT HEARTLANDS CHAMPIONSHIP, WHEN AMARIIE HOLD IT! SHANK NOT ONE TO ALWAYS THINK HISTORY REPEAT HISTORY! BUT, SHANK THINK IT POSSIBLE HERE! HECTARE THINK HISTORY REPEAT HISTORY?
[Hecate chuckles softly]
Hecate - No history will not repeat itself. For one thing, Audrie seems to like making enemies more than she does friends. She reminds me a bit of you in that regard Shank. And for another, Audrie might have come out victorious in a few battles, but the war isn't over. I plan on holding onto this Heartlands Championship for awhile to come yet.
[Shank nods.]
Shank - THIS NEXT QUESTION A FOLLOWUP TO FIRST QUESTION THAT SHANK ASK HECTARE! SEE, SHANK HEAR HECTARE SAY THAT HECTARE BELIEVE HECTARE GOOD CHAMPION! SHANK HEAR THAT! BUT, SHANK LOOK AT PEOPLES WHO REPRESENT HEARTLANDS BEFORE - UMBRAGE, ADAM ALLOCCO, JUSTIN EVERS, TIM TYLER, SHANK - A LOT OF THOSE NAMES ARE LISTED AS GREAT FIGHTERS IN WMW HISTORY! SHANK JUST NOT SEE THE CORRELATION! HAS HECTARE DONE ENOUGH TO BE LISTED AS GREAT CHAMPION OF HEARTLANDS?
[Hecate grins and gives a slight shrug, then points out to where the audience in-studio.]
Hecate - Shank, that is not something you, or even I can judge. Only the fans, WMW Management and the other wrestlers in the back can decide. I've come out victorious in matches against some of the veterans in this company but I don't feel I have given everything I have to give yet and most likely it's too soon for me to be considered a great in the WMW.
[Shank disagrees, regardless of what she said, and shows it with his disapproving facial expression.]
Shank - THIS FIRST TIME SHANK EVER BEEN IN MEXICO CITY! SHANK HEAR THAT MANY PEOPLES LIKE TO COMPETE IN MEXICO, BUT SHANK NOT HAVE INTEREST! IS FIRST TIME FOR HECTARE TO FIGHT IN MEXICO CITY?
Hecate - El Dia will not be my first time in Mexico City wrestling, I spend several months down in Mexico when I was learning this business honing my skills so it will be a bit of a homecoming in a way.
Shank - WELL, ANYTHING HECTARE LOOK FORWARD TO HERE IN MEXICO CITY?
Hecate - Hmm what am I looking forward to, besides retraining the Heartlands Championship, I am looking forward to the WMW putting on one hell of a show for the Mexican fans. Also being able to spend a couple days playing tourist will be fun, especially since I've been promised to have a special tour guide.
[Shank is obviously, barely listening.]
Shank - WELL, THAT ALL TIME SHANK HAVE TO LISTEN TO HECTARE! SHANK NOT EVEN SURE WHAT HECTARE EVEN SAYING! SHANK WANT TO GO TO BREAK! TIM TYLER! PLAY MUSIC!
[At that, Hecate rises from her chair and offers her hand to Shank. Shank rejects it and just leans back in his chair.]
Hecate - Shank, ...if you ever decide you want to step back in and try your hand at becoming the Heartlands Champion again, ...I'll be waiting. Doesn't matter if it's Jack Reynolds, Mr Videogame, Shank or Audrie McLaughlin, if anyone wants the Heartlands Championship they are welcome to come and try to pry it from my fingers.
[Shank shakes his head.]
Shank - SHANK THANK HECTARE FOR ANSWERING QUESTIONS! NOW, PART OF SHANK SHOW FOR HECTARE TO LEAVE! TIM TYLER! PLAY MUSIC!
[At that Hecate shakes her head and leaves the stage. Tim Tyler and the Alan Wrenches begin to bust out some more kick ass grooves as the shot fades.]
Commercial Break
Part of Shank Show where Shank talk about Adam Pyre
[The shot opens back up to Shank as Tim Tyler and the Alan Wrenches finish up their song.]
Shank - SHANK WELCOME BACK FANS OF SHANK TO SHANK SHOW! NOW, IT TIME TO GO TO NEXT GUEST OF SHANK SHOW! NEXT GUEST WILL FIGHT SCOTT VYPER AT EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS IN LAST MAN STANDING MATCH! NAME OF GUEST IS - ADAM PYRE!
[The crowd gives a mixed reaction, as Adam Pyre out onto the stage. He walks up to Shank's desk. Shank stands and they shake hands, and then Pyre sits down in the chair next to Shank. Tim Tyler busts out a chunky bass solo and then the music ends.]
Shank - ADAM PYRE! IT BEEN SOME TIME SINCE ADAM PYRE AND SHANK LAST TALK! WHEN SHANK MAKE ADAM PYRE LOOK LIKE FOOL IN MAFIA 4!
[The crowd gives a pop and Adam Pyre smirks as he looks around.]
Shank - BUT, LET SHANK BE SERIOUS FOR MOMENT! NOW THAT ADAM PYRE AND SHANK SIT NEXT TO BOTH SHANK AND ADAM PYRE, SHANK WANT TO TAKE OPPORTUNITY AND APOLOGIZE TO ADAM PYRE FOR MAKING PYRE LOOK LIKE FOOL IN MAFIA 4! SHANK WOULD LIKE THIS INTERVIEW TO GO PEACEFULLY, AND SHANK WANT ADAM PYRE TO KNOW THAT SHANK KNOW IT JUST GAME, AND NOT TAKE INSULTS OF ADAM PYRE SERIOUSLY!
[Pyre smirks as he looks down. He straightens himself in the seat before looking over towards the band.]
Adam Pyre - First of all, wow, that was a really chunky bass solo. Kudos!
[Pyre scratches the part of his head with stubble on it and closes one eye tightly.]
Adam Pyre - Anyway, if anyone was made to look a fool, Shanky, I'm pretty sure it was you. After all, you did say that Cherry Coke tasted like "hactuey" whatever the heck that is, and we all know Cherry Coke is really Nectar from the Gods.
[Shank shakes his head letting out an exaggerated sigh.]
Adam Pyre - But eh, screw it. Sure, we'll call it water under the bridge. On one condition.
[At that, Pyre pulls a freshly squeezed can of Cherry Coke from his pocket and sets it on Shank's desk. Shank immediately stands up, pushing himself away from the desk. He looks at it with disgust.]
Adam Pyre - You gotta drink this right here, right now. And when you're done, I want you to look me in the crazed bloodshot eye and tell me that it isn't the freakin best beverage you've ever tasted! Whatcha think peoples?
[The crowd goes crazy.]
Shank - ADAM PYRE SERIOUS?
[Pyre nods and the crowd begins to chant "beber la Cherry Coke!" Shank looks around and frowns.]
Shank - SHANK HAVE IDEA!
[Shank sits down at his desk. He grabs the coke and pulls it to him. He lifts it up and eyeballs it before leaning back in his chair, reaches under his desk and tosses the can into what sounds like a garbage can.]
Shank - SHANK THINK THAT STUPID IDEA! BUT, SHANK HOPE THAT ADAM PYRE JOIN MAFIA 5! NOW, LET SHANK MOVE ON! EL DIA TAKE PLACE IN MEXICO CITY! THIS FIRST TIME FOR ADAM PYRE IN MEXICO CITY?
[Pyre rubs his chin, stroking his awesome goatee.]
Adam Pyre - Ya know, I've had quite a few deathmatches in my day, and I know Mexico has some crazy sick deathmatch feds around the sombrero, but I can't honestly say I've never had a match in Mehico.
Shank - THERE ANYTHING ADAM PYRE LOOK FORWARD TO HERE IN MEXICO?
Adam Pyre - Well, obviously that would be bashing Scotty's head in with a set of steel steps come our belltime.
[Shank leans back in his chair, scratching his head.]
Shank - BUT, SERIOUSLY ADAM PYRE! ADAM PYRE VS. SCOTT VYPER IN LAST MAN STANDING MATCH? CAN ADAM PYRE REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO MATCH LIKE THAT?
[Pyre sort of half assedly throws his hands up in the air.]
Adam Pyre - Well obviously I can, Shanky, that's what I just said I was looking forward to. Keep up!
[Shank shakes his head.]
Shank - SHANK THINK BIGGER QUESTION BE, HOW SCOTT VYPER AND ADAM PYRE GET TO POINT OF NO RETURN, LIKE LAST MAN STANDING MATCH? WHY ALL HATE?
Adam Pyre - Well it all started when I was just a lad of ten...
[Shank leans in, listening to Pyre's every word. Pyre elbows Shank in the arm and grins. Shank, seeing as Pyre was just joking, scoffs and leans back in his chair.]
Adam Pyre - In all seriousness? Heck I don't know, the guy had a problem with me screwing with his girlfriend I guess. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the good way. But I don't think people quite understand where my anger comes from. Personally, I could care less if it were Scotty or Ryvey or even you Shanky. I'm angry because I'm on a pretty powerful losing streak right now, and because of that people are starting to question my toughness, Scotty included. So I see this match as a chance to prove that I'm not all washed up, that I still can carry a beating.
Shank - WELL! SHANK NOT WANT TO RAIN ON PARADE OF ADAM PYRE! BUT, ADAM PYRE WON OVER-TOP-CHALLENGE OF SHIFTING GRAVEYARD 100! FIRST, DID WINNING OVER-TOP-CHALLENGE NOT PROVE ADAM PYRE STILL FIGHT GOOD? BUT, SERIOUSLY, SHANK WISH ADAM PYRE CONGRATULATIONS! THAT BIG WIN! BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ADAM PYRE! DO ADAM PYRE HAVE PLANS FOR SHIFTING GRAVEYARD 101, WHERE ADAM PYRE BE GENERAL MANAGER?
[Pyre flashes his signature grin.]
Adam Pyre - Oh yes, I got some crazy plans for GS 101. Let's just say things may get a little deathcore...
Shank - DEATHCORE? SHANK HEAR THAT NAME BEFORE, BUT SHANK NOT ABLE TO THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY IN RESPONSE TO THAT! SO, SHANK MOVE ON! SHANK TAKE JOB SERIOUSLY HERE ON SHANK SHOW! PART OF WHAT SHANK DO BEFORE INTERVIEW IS LOOK AT ARCHIVES OF CHAMPIONSHIP, AND SHANK LOOK AT EACH TITLE AND LOOK FOR NAME OF ADAM PYRE! GUESS WHAT SHANK FOUND OUT!
[Pyre leans back in his chair and shakes his head with a smile.]
Shank - ADAM PYRE NEVER WIN CHAMPIONSHIP IN MIDWEST WRESTLING! BUT, WITH ADAM PYRE WIN OVER-TOP-CHALLENGE, IT LOOK ALMOST LIKE ADAM PYRE READY TO START NEW CHAPTER OF STORY OF ADAM PYRE HERE IN MIDWEST WRESTLING! SO, LET SHANK ASK ADAM PYRE QUESTION! IN FUTURE OF ADAM PYRE - DO ADAM PYRE THINK ADAM PYRE WIN GOLD?
[Pyre looks a little curiously at Shank.]
Adam Pyre - Well, to be honest Shanky, I'm just here to fight. Titles are nice and shiny, for sure, but they ain't everything. I've always felt that the merit of a man is in the stones he carries, not the gold. But hell, never say never I suppose.
[Shank nods.]
Shank - WELL! MAYBE ONE DAY ADAM PYRE LIFT TITLE ABOVE HEAD OF ADAM PYRE! SHANK WISH ADAM PYRE GOOD LUCK IN IDEA THAT MAYBE ONE DAY ADAM PYRE WIN CHAMPIONSHIP! SHANK THANK ADAM PYRE FOR JOINING SHANK SHOW! NOW PART OF SHANK SHOW WHERE SHANK TAKE BREAK! WHEN SHANK SHOW RETURN FROM BREAK, SHANK TALK WITH AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)!
[Tim Tyler and the Alan Wrenches begin to bust out some more kick ass grooves as the shot pulls back to show Adam Pyre start to try and talk with Shank. Shank ignores him, pushes away from his desk, and walks off the set. The scene fades.]
Commercial Break
Part of Shank Show where Shank talk about MTL and GLC
[The shot opens back up to Shank as Tim Tyler and the Alan Wrenches finish up their song.]Shank - SHANK WELCOME BACK FANS OF SHANK TO SHANK SHOW! NOW, IT TIME TO GO TO NEXT GUEST OF SHANK SHOW! NEXT GUEST WILL FIGHT TWO MATCHES AT EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS! FIRST, GUEST DEFENDS MIDWEST TAG LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST VALORA AND MR. VIDEOGAME, THEN GUEST FIGHTS KRONIN FOR GREAT LAKES CHAMPIONSHIP! NEXT GUEST IS - AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)!
[The crowd gives a mixed reaction, as AWS Man (also known as Bill) makes his way onto the stage to a sweet ass, heavy-on-the-bass rendition of Queen's "We Are The Champions". AWS Man confidently swaggers up to the desk, where Shank stands and they shake hands. AWS Man sits down in the chair next to the desk and the music ends.]
Shank - SHANK WELCOME AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)! AND, LET SHANK BE HONEST! THIS REAL HONOR FOR SHANK! SHANK SIT NEXT TO 4-TIME GREAT LAKES CHAMPION AND 3-TIME TAG TEAM CHAMPION! SOME PEOPLES SAY AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) GREATEST FIGHTER IN MIDWEST WRESTLING EVER! AND, NOW, AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) GREATEST FIGHTER IN MIDWEST WRESTLING TO APPEAR ON SHANK SHOW, BESIDES SHANK! SHANK BET AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) HEAR A LOT OF COMPLIMENTS LIKE THE ONES SHANK JUST DROP!
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – Well, of course I do. Mainly from myself, of course, but I never get tired of hearing it from other people too, even if they don’t freakin’ enunciate as well as I do. You know, it’s nice to get the respect I deserve from you, Shaft, considering your freakin’ tag partner had none. Do you know how insulting it was to have Reynolds Wrap actually think he could beat me?
Shank - YEAH! SHANK LIKE JACK REYNOLDS, BUT JACK REYNOLDS SAY THINGS TO SHANK SOMETIMES THAT NOT MAKE SENSE!
AWS Man (also known as Bill) - Yep, it's unfreakin’believable. He didn’t really beat me, of course, regardless of what that Liarpants McLiarson of a record book states. I was very clear when making the rules that Kronus could not even make an appearance at ringside, and he did … in musical form, which should still count! But, you can’t dwell on the freakin’ past forever, unless I guess you’re Dress and your memories of your glory days are all you have left. But since I’m awesome for all time, I can move on.
Shank - WELL, AS SHANK SAY BEFORE! AWS MAN FIGHT IN TWO MATCHES AT EL DIA! THAT A LOT OF MATCHES! WHAT GO THROUGH MIND OF AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)?
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – What’s going through my freakin’ mind? That seems a bit personal. Why don’t you ask for my phone number and to see me naked while you’re at it? My mind is my own freakin’ business, thank you very much, and I put a lot of effort into making people think I don’t even have one. But in direct contradiction to what I just said, I do have one, and in a battle of wits I could blow anyone else’s mind all over their freakin’ face. It probably blows your mind just to try to comprehend how I could be teaming up with Kremlin in one match and facing him later in the night, but my own mind remains completely unblown. I know what I’ll be doing at El Diablo Caliente, and that’s all anyone else needs to know. Except, even knowing that is too much, so forget that freakin’ part and just pretend I said something else.
Shank - WELL, SHANK GO BACK TO HISTORY BOOK AND LOOK AT WHAT AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) DO IN OTHER TIMES AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) FIGHT AT EL DIA! AND, KNOW WHAT SHANK FIND OUT? SHANK SEE THAT IN FIRST APPEARANCE FOR AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) AT 2004 EL DIA, AWS MAN LOST GREAT LAKES CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST JUSTIN EVERS! IN 2005! AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) GOT PINNED BY NOAH HANSON! THEN! IN 2008, LAST YEAR! AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) LOSE TO JADE, WHICH MEAN, THAT AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) ALSO NOT ALLOWED TO USE SHOOTING STAR PRESS ANYMORE! SHANK MEANS - 0-3 AT EL DIA AND ALL 3 MATCHES BIG MATCHES! ANYTHING DIFFERENT AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) PLAN TO STOP REPEATING HISTORY?
[The Insane One narrows his eyes at Shank.]
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – First off, I find that claim highly freakin’ suspect. I doubt very much that I’ve lost three times in my entire career, let alone every year at this same event. And our records are incomplete for the early years, anyway. We don’t even have the first El Diablo freakin’ archived. I probably competed there and won eight times in one night. Since nobody seems to remember, especially not me, we’ll just have to assume that I did. And I never lost the right to use the Win the Freakin’ Matchifier; our match was for the Badlands title, which I thought looked stupid and never really wanted anyway. For a freakin’ giant retardo who’s known for being ignorant, I’d expect a little better fact checking. But, let’s say I do have a somewhat flawed record of 8-3 at this event. That means lightning’s already struck three times in one place, which should already be impossible. Me losing freakin’ again means lightning striking a fourth time, which is even impossibler. And if history tries to get involved, then I’ll just point it out to the ref and take my DQ victory, like I should’ve been able to do at GS100. History can just go ahead and freakin’ suck on that.
[Shank nods in agreement.]
Shank - SHANK SEE WHAT AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) SAY! NOW! SHANK ASK QUESTION - IT HYPOTHETICAL! IF AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) WANT TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MIDWEST TAG LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP AND GREAT LAKES CHAMPIONSHIP! WHAT CHAMPIONSHIP AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) LIKE BETTER?
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – Well, first you have to understand that my titles are like my freakin’ children to me. Like kids, they’re small, easily portable, tempting to pawn, and can handily be used to hit people with. And like any parent of multiple children when asked to pick which child they love best, of course I have a favorite. Any parent who claims they freakin’ don’t just doesn’t want to hurt the stupid one’s feelings. Personally, I don’t think that’s good parentering. If I ever did have real kids, I would make them compete for the title of “Daddy’s favorite,” and would probably even make a belt the winner could carry. It’s important to teach competitiveness at an early age.
But when it comes to my belts, it has to be my GLC. Not that I don’t love my tag title too, but I’ve held that freakin’ thing literally all year. It’s had multiple mommies during that time, but only one Daddy: me. And it’s starting to get to the point where either it needs to move out or get a job and start pulling its freakin’ weight around here. Really, I consider both tag titles mine, but for the past couple months they’ve been split apart. You hate to see them separated by a broken home like that. So, it would almost be nice to see them being raised by real partners.
Not the GLC, though. It’s a single child- I mean, freakin’ title, and so it needs a firm hand. I already let it briefly fall into the hands of an Asian trollop, which probably traumatized the freakin’ poor thing for years. Or just bored it half to death. And now some dirty, irresponsible hippie wants custody of it, even though he's already shown to be an unfit parent to the tag titles. Let me be clear when I say, nuh freakin’ uh. Even if we lose the tag titles, my Great Lakes title isn’t going anywhere.
[Shank nods.]
Shank - WELL! THAT MAKE SENSE TO SHANK! WELL! NOW PART OF SHANK SHOW WHERE SHANK TAKE BREAK! AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) WILL STAY FOR MORE QUESTIONS! BUT, ALSO - NEXT GUEST ON SHANK SHOW IS VALORA! SHANK HEAR VALORA NOT HAPPY THAT SHANK MAKE FUN OF MEXICANS! IT TRUE? SHANK FANS FIND OUT NEXT!
[Tim Tyler and the Alan Wrenches begin to bust out some more kick ass grooves as the shot pulls back to show AWS Man (also known as Bill) and Shank begin to talk. The scene fades.]
Commercial Break
Part of Shank Show where Shank talks about the MTL and ASC.
[The shot opens back up to Shank as Tim Tyler and the Alan Wrenches finish up their song.]
Shank - SHANK WELCOME BACK FANS OF SHANK TO SHANK SHOW! NOW, IT TIME TO GO TO NEXT GUEST OF SHANK SHOW! NEXT GUEST ALSO FIGHT TWO MATCHES AT EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS! FIRST, GUEST FIGHT AWS MAN AND KRONIN FOR MIDWEST TAG LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP, THEN GUEST FIGHT RYVEN FOR ACE SUPERIOR CHAMPIONSHIP! NEXT GUEST IS - VALORA!
[Valora walks out from the backstage area, a confident, bored look on her face as she smirks and makes her way to the desk, shaking Shank's hands before pulling him close and staring him in the eyes, making it plain she's not happy about something sitting down, completely ignoring AWS Man, except to briefly give him the finger as she settles into her seat, turning back to Shank.]
Shank - SHANK WELCOME BACK FANS OF SHANK TO SHANK SHOW! NOW, IT TIME TO GO TO NEXT GUEST OF SHANK SHOW! NEXT GUEST ALSO FIGHT TWO MATCHES AT EL DIA DE LOS MUERTOS! FIRST, GUEST FIGHT AWS MAN AND KRONIN FOR MIDWEST TAG LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP, THEN GUEST FIGHT RYVEN FOR ACE SUPERIOR CHAMPIONSHIP! NEXT GUEST IS - VALORA!
[Valora walks out from the backstage area, a confident, bored look on her face as she smirks and makes her way to the desk, shaking Shank's hands before pulling him close and staring him in the eyes, making it plain she's not happy about something sitting down, completely ignoring AWS Man, except to briefly give him the finger as she settles into her seat, turning back to Shank.]
Valora - I heard what you said about my people and the country... watch the cheap jokes, or I'll have to remind you why you do these cheap little talk shows...
[Shank smiles.]
Shank - SHANK NOT AWARE THAT VALORA NOT ABLE TO TAKE JOKE! SHANK NOT AWARE THAT THINGS SHANK SAY MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR VALORA TO HAVE FUN HERE ON SHANK SHOW! WHICH, IT STRANGE THAT THERE PROBLEM HERE! SHANK HEAR VALORA VERY POPULAR AND LIKABLE! MEDIA PEOPLES LIKE EWTORCH.COM SAY VALORA, LIKE, ONE OF TOP FIGHTERS EVERY WEEK! SHANK NOT TALK ABOUT WHAT SHANK THINKS ABOUT VALORA! SO, VALORA! SHANK ASK - WHY EXACTLY PEOPLES LIKE VALORA?
[Valora gets a thoughtful expression on her face and shrugs.]
Valora - Hell if I know, man. I just do my thing week in and week out. But it's like I've said. We got some sick ass [bleep]in' people in this here country who love them some good bloodletting and I'm an expert at hurting people. I deliver. I say I'm gonna do something, I do it. I brought hardcore back from the dead here in WMW, I proved I could do Deathcore against Adam Pyre, and I was so dominant I had to send the belt back into retirement to try and find some competition. But, for some reason, the folks at EWTorch have really liked me and taken notice of my work and it's catapulted me up to number 4 in their rankings of top women wrestlers in the world.
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – That list is freakin’ biased towards women. I should be #1 on it every week, but apparently just because I’ve got a “good-time gun,” I can’t be on the top female wrestlers list. Discrimifreakin’nation!
Valora - Hell if I know, man. I just do my thing week in and week out. But it's like I've said. We got some sick ass [bleep]in' people in this here country who love them some good bloodletting and I'm an expert at hurting people. I deliver. I say I'm gonna do something, I do it. I brought hardcore back from the dead here in WMW, I proved I could do Deathcore against Adam Pyre, and I was so dominant I had to send the belt back into retirement to try and find some competition. But, for some reason, the folks at EWTorch have really liked me and taken notice of my work and it's catapulted me up to number 4 in their rankings of top women wrestlers in the world.
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – That list is freakin’ biased towards women. I should be #1 on it every week, but apparently just because I’ve got a “good-time gun,” I can’t be on the top female wrestlers list. Discrimifreakin’nation!
[Valora looks to AWS Man incredulously and just shakes her head.]
Valora - Do you even listen to yourself talk Esse? It's a women's list. By your logic, it's unfair that I'm not on the men's list. Course if you really want on the women's list... I hear there are place you can go that can help make you....eligible shall we say?
Shank - WELL, SHANK HAVE TO AGREE WITH AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)! SHANK MEAN, IT WEIRD TO SHANK THAT VALORA, FORMER HARDCORE CHAMPION, RANK HIGHER FOR EWTORCH THAN AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL), WHERE AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) HOLD BOTH MIDWEST TAG LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP AND GREAT LAKES CHAMPIONSHIP! SO, MAYBE IT NOT THAT VALORA BETTER, BUT THAT COMPETITION AMONGST WOMAN WRESTLER IS WEAKER THAN MAN WRESTLER?
Valora - Well, you know... there's a great point to be made here. Firstly, unlike most of the PoP. I have a lot of respect for the members of That Damn Awesome! As a group, they haven't really gotten the ball rolling, they're missing that one key piece to really push them forward, but AWS Man to me is one of the greatest Great Lakes Champions in history. Umbrage? The man is a [bleep]in' hardcore legend. I have nothing but respect for what he's done in his career and Adam Pyre... well [bleep]... people are still talking about our matches and likely will be for some time to come. I think some of the male wrestlers in WMW have been overlooked in the EWTorch rankings. AWS Man, Ryven, Kronin. All three of those guys are among the best wrestlers I've seen. Now as for women wrestlers.... it depends on the company... A lot of companies view women as eye candy. Valets, managers, better seen and not heard type. Most that let them wrestle force women into their own division, out of fear that a male wrestler might injure them or just for more eye candy stuff. See two gals wrestling in bikinis and the like. One of the things I love about WMW, and that has prompted me to refuse the many lucrative offers to jump to other federations is the fact that there's no discrimination. I mean hell, just a few months ago, every major title here was held by women, except for the tag team belts. I think the fact that I compete against and beat men in singles competition really helps me in the rankings and I'd like to see more feds follow WMW's lead and let's start showing what women wrestlers can do.
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – You know, I have no problem with women wanting to freakin’ get in there and mix it up, as long as they realize they’ll never be as good as me. But neither will other men. But I’d like to know why Vajayjay discriminated against inanimate objects by never giving Pen a freakin’ Hardcore title shot. Do you think he’s not a person just because, technically, he’s not?!
Valora - Heh, I said when I retired the belt that if a legitimate contender showed up, I'd happily put the belt on the line, that's why I pushed to keep possession of it. I mainly didn't want to keep kicking the [bleep] out of the same people week in and week out while the top tier talent stayed out of the Hardcore division for one reason or another. So, if Pen wants a shot at the title, I will happily bitchslap his inanimate ass. Who knows, maybe I'll draw inspiration from mafia and microwave his ass.
[Shank shakes his head.]
Shank - SHANK SEE WHERE THIS GO! SO, SHANK ASK QUESTION ABOUT EL DIA! VALORA! VALORA HAVE TWO MATCHES, AS SHANK ALREADY SAY! IT BIG NIGHT FOR VALORA! IS VALORA PREPARED FOR BOTH BATTLES THAT VALORA FIGHT IN?
[Valora scoffs at Shank's question. Shank not sure why his question is "scoffible" and says so with his confident facial expression.]
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – You know, I have no problem with women wanting to freakin’ get in there and mix it up, as long as they realize they’ll never be as good as me. But neither will other men. But I’d like to know why Vajayjay discriminated against inanimate objects by never giving Pen a freakin’ Hardcore title shot. Do you think he’s not a person just because, technically, he’s not?!
Valora - Heh, I said when I retired the belt that if a legitimate contender showed up, I'd happily put the belt on the line, that's why I pushed to keep possession of it. I mainly didn't want to keep kicking the [bleep] out of the same people week in and week out while the top tier talent stayed out of the Hardcore division for one reason or another. So, if Pen wants a shot at the title, I will happily bitchslap his inanimate ass. Who knows, maybe I'll draw inspiration from mafia and microwave his ass.
[Shank shakes his head.]
Shank - SHANK SEE WHERE THIS GO! SO, SHANK ASK QUESTION ABOUT EL DIA! VALORA! VALORA HAVE TWO MATCHES, AS SHANK ALREADY SAY! IT BIG NIGHT FOR VALORA! IS VALORA PREPARED FOR BOTH BATTLES THAT VALORA FIGHT IN?
[Valora scoffs at Shank's question. Shank not sure why his question is "scoffible" and says so with his confident facial expression.]
Valora - Should ask Kronin. AWS Man here is not very likely to help out Kronin which means unless Kronin pulls some surprise on us all, it's gonna be him vs Videogame and myself and in that scenario. I think we have a damn good chance to win the tag team titles. Now, as for me and Ryven facing off against each other... Well yeah. That match is going to be epic. I've been preparing for this match for a long, long time. Ever since I made the decision to leave the Hardcore division. I figured my first divisions would be either the Heartlands or Ace Superior, with Ace Superior being the most likely. I love competing, I love competing in the big matches, against big names. Am I ready for Ryven? You bet your ass I'm ready for the matches and the huge night and mountain I have ahead of me at El Dia.
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – No freakin’ comment. But if I did have a comment, it would be … I plead the fifth.
Valora - Translation: "Valora's right, but I don't want to admit it."
[Shank laughs.]
Shank - SHANK THINK THAT VALORA NOT PLAY GAME OF JADE! JADE THE ONE THAT THINK THAT JADE CAN SAY WHATEVER JADE WANT TO FOR OTHER PEOPLES! AS IF JADE GIANT PUPPET MASTER THAT TALK FOR OTHER PEOPLES! AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) CLEARLY ANSWER QUESTION THE WAY AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) FELT NECESSARY! SO, ENOUGH OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOR OTHER PEOPLES! SHANK ASK VALORA QUESTION FOR VALORA TO ANSWER! MEXICO CITY! WILL IT BE NICE FOR VALORA TO WIN THERE! CONSIDERING, IT LIKE VALORA HOME! VALORA WIN THERE BEFORE! WILL IT BE NICE TO VALORA TO WIN AGAIN IN MEXICO CITY?
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – No freakin’ comment. But if I did have a comment, it would be … I plead the fifth.
Valora - Translation: "Valora's right, but I don't want to admit it."
[Shank laughs.]
Shank - SHANK THINK THAT VALORA NOT PLAY GAME OF JADE! JADE THE ONE THAT THINK THAT JADE CAN SAY WHATEVER JADE WANT TO FOR OTHER PEOPLES! AS IF JADE GIANT PUPPET MASTER THAT TALK FOR OTHER PEOPLES! AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) CLEARLY ANSWER QUESTION THE WAY AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) FELT NECESSARY! SO, ENOUGH OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOR OTHER PEOPLES! SHANK ASK VALORA QUESTION FOR VALORA TO ANSWER! MEXICO CITY! WILL IT BE NICE FOR VALORA TO WIN THERE! CONSIDERING, IT LIKE VALORA HOME! VALORA WIN THERE BEFORE! WILL IT BE NICE TO VALORA TO WIN AGAIN IN MEXICO CITY?
Valora - The fans in Mexico City are awesome, unless you do something stupid like say...make fun of them. I've said it many times already, but it's going to be like an Earthquake when they get all excited... the fans when they're cheering for you really make you feel like a God or Goddess. I consider it a huge honor and responsibility to compete for and maybe win titles at El Dia. My people need this right now and I'm going to give every drop of blood to achieve that end.
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – I’m looking forward to having a taco party when we get down there. It’s gonna be freakin’ awesome, and you’re all freakin’ invited, freakers. And guess what, freakwad? Yes, we will have guacamole.
[Valora snickers.]
Valora -That should be interesting, just hope your digestive system can keep up with authentic Mexican food... most gringos have a hard time handling it.
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – I’m looking forward to having a taco party when we get down there. It’s gonna be freakin’ awesome, and you’re all freakin’ invited, freakers. And guess what, freakwad? Yes, we will have guacamole.
[Valora snickers.]
Valora -That should be interesting, just hope your digestive system can keep up with authentic Mexican food... most gringos have a hard time handling it.
Shank - NOT SHANK! SHANK CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! SO, VALORA! VALORA SIT NEXT TO ONE OF OPPONENTS OF VALORA AT EL DIA, AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)! THERE ANYTHING VALORA LIKE TO SAY TO AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) NOW THAT VALORA SIT NEXT TO AWS (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL)? MAYBE VALORA HAVE QUESTION FOR CURRENT MIDWEST TAG LEAGUE CHAMPION?
Valora - Heh, yeah I got something to say to him...
[Valora turns and looks AWS Man dead in the eyes.]
Valora - You're a [bleep]ing legend in this sport. A hall of famer. I know it bugs you that I get more press then you do. Know why that is? Cause You're also a [bleep]ing bitch and a coward. If you put half the effort into defending your belt as you do trying to weasel out of defending it, you'd be a GOD in this business. Too damn bad you don't have the balls to work with Kronin... I really was looking forward to two undefeated tag teams beating the hell out of each other, but we both know you don't have the cajones to do that, right, esse? That's okay, cause sooner or later... you and I will get in the ring with each other... Cause I'm gonna prove I'm the best there is at the moment, and that puts you on my hit list. Nothing personal, gringo... just business. I gotta beat you at some point to continue my climb to legendary status and maybe, just maybe, when I do so, I'll remind you of who you used to be... before you turned into a punk.
[The Insane One shrugs.]
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – Shows what you know, cause I was always a freakin’ punk … according to some people, so I guess I should take that as a compliment. I don’t really care what you think about me, muchachalupa. And I don’t even really care about the freakin’ extra press you get, either. If I had cans like that, I’d get even more press than you do, and not just because I’m a man. Sure, we can meet up some day, and just like Emerald eventually found out, you’ll see that you don’t quite live up to the hype. Not when compared to me. So enjoy your freakin’ moment in the sun while it lasts, but you’re no AWS Man (also known as Bill). Eventually, the spotlight’s going to move on from you, while everybody will still be paying to see me.
[Valora stands up and turns to AWS Man.]
Valora - Careful esse. Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash. Before you [bleep] with me, you might wanna visit the retirement home I sent Evers to, or talk with Adam Pyre. You piss me off, you'll be the next person that leaves the ring on a [bleep]in' stretcher. See... there's a difference between me and Jade. Jade all about honor and high ideals... me? [laughs a bit maniacally] I'm just a sick bitch that gets off on hurting people. Now, since spanking your spatula to your porn collection is probably the closest you get to an actual woman, I'm gonna do you a solid...
[Valora smirks and raises her shirt, flashing AWS Man. Shank falls out of his chair. He stands up and points at Valora, looking around as if in total shock.]
[The Insane One shrugs.]
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – Shows what you know, cause I was always a freakin’ punk … according to some people, so I guess I should take that as a compliment. I don’t really care what you think about me, muchachalupa. And I don’t even really care about the freakin’ extra press you get, either. If I had cans like that, I’d get even more press than you do, and not just because I’m a man. Sure, we can meet up some day, and just like Emerald eventually found out, you’ll see that you don’t quite live up to the hype. Not when compared to me. So enjoy your freakin’ moment in the sun while it lasts, but you’re no AWS Man (also known as Bill). Eventually, the spotlight’s going to move on from you, while everybody will still be paying to see me.
[Valora stands up and turns to AWS Man.]
Valora - Careful esse. Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash. Before you [bleep] with me, you might wanna visit the retirement home I sent Evers to, or talk with Adam Pyre. You piss me off, you'll be the next person that leaves the ring on a [bleep]in' stretcher. See... there's a difference between me and Jade. Jade all about honor and high ideals... me? [laughs a bit maniacally] I'm just a sick bitch that gets off on hurting people. Now, since spanking your spatula to your porn collection is probably the closest you get to an actual woman, I'm gonna do you a solid...
[Valora smirks and raises her shirt, flashing AWS Man. Shank falls out of his chair. He stands up and points at Valora, looking around as if in total shock.]
Shank - LOOK WHAT VALORA DO TO SHANK!
[Valora ignores Shank and looks directly at AWS Man.]
Valora - You think these are the only reason I get press? They're a factor... kinda like your mask and your spatula are part of the reason people pay attention to you. Difference is while they're laughing at you, they're looking at me wondering how someone as [bleep]in' hot as I am can be as skilled and [bleep]in' loco as I am. Face it. I'm the personified wet dream of a lot of nerds, guys and gals out there. You? You're just....comic relief, which is sad, cause you used to be great. Once. Used to be.
[Valora lowers her shirt and turns to walk off the stage, her time done. The Insane One stares after her with a blank look in his eyes.]
Valora - You think these are the only reason I get press? They're a factor... kinda like your mask and your spatula are part of the reason people pay attention to you. Difference is while they're laughing at you, they're looking at me wondering how someone as [bleep]in' hot as I am can be as skilled and [bleep]in' loco as I am. Face it. I'm the personified wet dream of a lot of nerds, guys and gals out there. You? You're just....comic relief, which is sad, cause you used to be great. Once. Used to be.
[Valora lowers her shirt and turns to walk off the stage, her time done. The Insane One stares after her with a blank look in his eyes.]
AWS Man (also known as Bill) – Uh ... freakin' uh... Why doesn't she do porn, again?
Shank - SHANK NOT SURE! SHANK HAD LIKE, 15 OTHER THINGS TO SAY, BUT NOT REMEMBER!
[He thinks about it for a few moments, then shakes his head.]
Shank - WELL, THAT ALL SHANK HAVE TIME FOR! THAT SHANK SHOW! SHANK THANK PEOPLES WHO WATCH!
[At that, he throws it back to Tim Tyler and the Alan Wrenches, and they bust out some jive-jarring jams. The shot fades.]
the best drum set that i have used is the ones that is made by Pearl’,~