Special Update

Hello loyal WMW Fans, it's me Jane Coughlin working round the clock to keep you up to date on the latest happenings in WMW.  I know I've been gone for awhile, but that partly due to a) me having to learn how Mixed Martial Arts matches work so I could be one of the judges in the Shoot Title match at Ides of March (and trust me, folks, that match alone is worth the price of the pay per view!) and b) I was doing research and preparing for the next round of news as WMW prepares to head into high gear.

On that note, here's our first major update.  As you know, with the growing threat of climate change and the increasing popularity of 'going green' and the resulting pressure that puts on businesses, WMW has decided to contribute positively in this effort by reducing paper as much as possible for starters.  This means we have shifted a lot of our corporate office filings from paper to electronic.  We've brought in the IT experts, built our servers, backed everything up and backed it up again for good measure and we're close to being online!  This has led to a delay in certain updates that we used to bring to you, such as contracts.

Well, Wayne Inkster and the guys in the Talent Department have been hard at work tying up those loose ends and I'm thrilled to have these confirmed Contract signings to announce for you!  Nearly every WMW wrestler has signed new contracts, so to prevent this list from being too long and ungainly, I'll be highlighting a few of the bigger contract signings.  Full Contract Details on each wrestler should hopefully be up and available soon, and fans can always email in to find out where their favorite wrestler stands at jane@wrestlingmidwest.com.

AWS Man – Has opted for a per appearance contract at the moment, citing that constant "Freakin' nagging" about contract lengths interrupts his porn watching sessions.

Druscilla – Has just today signed a 3 Month contract, ensuring that her appearance at Ides of March was not a one time thing and that the WMW will see her at least through June 17th, 2010.

Father Nathan – Signed a 6 Month deal back in January ensuring that the Conscience of WMW will be carrying his cross until at least July 30th, 2010.

Hecate – Is currently still under her contract from last year which will carry her through the entire year of 2010, as her contract does not expire until December 31st, 2010.

Jade – Signed a 1 year deal back on Valentine's Day ensuring that WMW's Jade Dragon will be around until February, 2011.

Jordan Keyser – Finished talks with WMW Management and signed an official WMW contract for 3 months, locking him up until June 17th, 2010.

Kronin – Just finished talks with WMW Management today and signed a 1 year deal that will keep him here until March 17th, 2011, and ensures that WMW still considers the Master of Rock and Shock one of their franchise players.

Valora – The name everyone has likely been wondering about has been going back and forth with WMW Management ever since her skyrocketing stock continued to rise.  But WMW fans have nothing to fear at the moment as Valora is still locked up and safe under contract until January 2011, having been signed to a 1 Year deal earlier this year.

I spoke with Wayne Inkster who was very pleased by the flurry of signings, especially his department's ability to retain top talent that has already proven itself and acquiring new talent that could be the superstars of tomorrow.  Talks are still ongoing with some WMW wrestlers and we will keep you up to date on the new signings as they happen and become official.

Until then, this is Jane Coughlin, stay tuned for more updates from WMW News!

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Valora’s Blog ‘I’m Still Here’

So yeah, here's me.  On the raggedity edge once again.  Been a little busy for this fuckin web shit lately, it's tough kicking as much ass as I do, it tends to be somewhat time consuming.  But with so much happening, and a few people inserting their views on things… figured there was a moment or two for words between ass kickings.  On that note, he we go:

First to Stephen Greer.  You gotta tell me man since I've never fucked up and dropped the ball as epically as you have, just how did it feel when I pinned you?  Yeah, you gave me a nice cozy room in the med center for a night or two, but I was laughing all the way there, just remembering the look on your face when I pinned you.  Priceless.

Johnny Lightning.  Count yourself lucky, bitch.  Next time you step into a ring with me, I just might slit your fucking throat.  Little kids like you should stay the fuck out of the ring while the adults are working.  You're a fucking disgrace to the art, to the business, to the whole fucking thing.

Angus…  Oh where to start with this ignorant little fuck.  Firstly, I'm Mexican not Cuban, not Puerto Rican, not any of that.  Mexican.  You know, the same people inbred, racist, redneck fucks like you fucked over to get Texas and half of the modern day U.S. from.  Now we've moved north and basically taken the land back, and you all pay for it.  Payback's a bitch, ain't it?  Yeah, Chance Wolfington is a worthless piece of shit, I'll give you that.  But take Dane's Dick out of your mouth long enough to listen very carefully to what I'm about to say.  The Hardcore Icons… we ain't bitching.  We're acting.  We ran your little bitches, Team in Danger out of the Missouri Valley Wrestling show tonight, I demolished Dane's limo,   I very nearly took Cobra's head off with my lead pipe.  All in all, Team in Danger was runnin' for their fuckin' lives and Umbrage and I were the ones sending them running.  See, the Corporate noise… that ain't our kinda thing.  We're gonna be showing up, whenever we want, wherever we want, until we get our belts back and leave Team in Danger in a pool of their blood.

Sault St. Marie:  Noticed your little epic fail.  Way to piss the real boss off, though I gotta say, watching you stand out in the cold getting your old, rich white ass chewed out by Johnson was fuckin' gold.  Johnson knows how to make WMW work.  He handles the corporate shit, signs our checks and leaves the wrestling to the fucking wrestlers.  Take notes, bitch.

Dan Pollaski: Saw your little blog too.  You're dead on about Umbrage, he could walk into Defiance by himself, beat the piss out of all of those inbred hicks, wannabes and fuckin' disgraces to the business that call themselves wrestlers and get our belts.  But when he does that, he won't be doin' it alone.  I'll be there with him, which means Defiance is doubly fucked.  Oh and your welcome, by the way.  You have asked, I am delivering, and this is just the start.  I'll burn down the house that is Defiance.

Eric Dane: Isn't this cute, a little evil genius wannabe, Only problem is he's neither a genius nor evil.  He's a fucking retard.  He just went and picked a fight with a fed ranked 5th overall out of all the 50 some feds that EWTorch keeps an eye on.  WMW was the only fed on that list that is a member of the WWA, by the way.  No other fed, including Defiance, made the top 15 power rankings.  How's that taste, Eric?  Bitter?  Hard to choke down?  Cause I know it's pretty fuckin' tasty from where I'm sitting.  Tell ya what, go ahead and grow a pair of balls and hand over the belts to us and Umbrage and I might just leave your little fucking joke of a fed up and running, cause if you don't well then Umbrage and I will do what he's been doing for years and what I'm doing right now, beat down every mother fucker you send against us until it's just you, me, and Umbrage in a room, and I've run that scenario through my head a thousand different ways and none of them end good for you.

Lee Best: Suck a dick.  You're awfully eager to sign the death warrants of Scottywood-if-he-could and whoever the fuck his worthless shit of a partner is.  This is real simple.  You pay AWS Man and Myself a shit ton of money and we humiliate Scotty and his boy in front of your crowd, Oh and we'll probably raise your ratings a bit too since AWS Man and I are both worth more then your entire fucking roster put together.  So, least you got that going for you.  Better then nothing, I suppose.

That's about it for the moment.  If I got something else to say, rest assured, I'll be back, til then back to my two favorite things in the world, beating the shit out of people and having a drink at my favorite bar

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The Price of Victory, a Jane Coughlin Special Commentary

There are times in any professional sport, that define a team, a player, moments that echo in history forever, to the point that even years later, people look on with pride and say "I was there."  These moments are too few and too far in between.  Moments when everything is riding on one moment.  When a game, a series, a season, a career comes down to one moment.  For those tens of thousands that sold out and packed into WMW Arena, and those who watched it on TV, they saw one of those moments.

Valora Salinas is known for many things.  Since day one, she has said she was a future legend.  She said she would be the best.  She said her name would be recorded in the annals of Wrestling history, mentioned with the greats and the legends of our business.  But unlike most newcomers, she acknowledged those who came before her, gave respect to the older generation that paved the way for her.  Then she dared herself to do more then they had.  She is WMW's version of Joe Namath.  She spoke out against Kronin, saying he had dropped the ball and failed WMW.  She butted heads with Sault St. Marie over those comments, and told him and everyone that if she had a chance, she'd bring wins to the WMW.  She and her tag team partner, Umbrage, tore through Jade and Hecate as well as Kronin and Ryven to earn their shot at history.  Valora wasted no time talking about the match, boldly stepping out from the crowd to answer Pollaski's and my call for a hero, a leader, someone to lead WWA against Defiance and the threat they represented by them.  She went up to the best team Defiance said.  A team no one said they could beat and said.  "I beat you, and I'll go ahead and be the heroine and leader that WWA needs while I'm at it."

That Damn Awesome! is often criticized for their words, their actions.  But after this Thursday night, the stable truly lived up to it's name thanks to two Gladiators.  Two Warriors.  Two Icons.  They walked out onto the big stage, in the biggest clutch moment possible, and with a crowd of fervent WMW fans chanting "WMW! WMW! WMW!" They did the unthinkable.

They won.

In the span of three seconds, the entire scope of the World Wrestling Alliance changed, and a team thought nearly unbeatable fell.  Through a trial of blood and fire, the Hardcore Icons lived up to their name and one more time, David beat Goliath.  It was a night everyone associated with WMW, whether backstage, wrestler, or fan will forever be able to look back on with pride.  Like her or not, Valora did everything she said she was going to do and Umbrage's presence is clearly limiting Valora's only real glaring weakness, that being lack of experience.  Umbrage has been going on ever since they formed their team that he was taking the mantle of Valora's mentor.  Valora had been named Umbrage's chosen successor.  He claimed he would make her a Goddess, a legend in this business.  He too, seems to be delivering everything he promised.  Valora herself, has just shy of 2 years experience in professional wrestling, a big part of what has made her meteoric rise so amazing.  Umbrage looked at the fiery, passionate newcomer and in a moment right out of Doctor Frankenstein thought to himself, 'She's awesome now, but imagine what she will be if I add my experience to all that raw talent.'  And in true Motor City industrial spirit, he set about forging himself a Wrestling legend.

But victory comes with a price, and both of the Hardcore Icons paid dearly for their victory.  First, Stephen Greer grabbed a lead pipe and nearly crushed Valora's skull, Valora's trademark quickness literally saving her life.  Next, Valora followed in her mentor's footstep's a bit too close for Umbrage's comfort when Johnny Lightning trapped Valora between two beds of nails and hit a 450 splash on them, driving the nails on both beds deep into Valora's trapped body.  That would have been a match ended for both people but Valora, like Umbrage before her, got up and kept fighting, despite the blood pouring from all over her body.  Later in the match, Umbrage hit the Detroit Breakdown, driving Johnny Lightning through a burning table.  One has to wonder if there wasn't a degree of payback in that move for Lightning nearly impaling Umbrage's protege in a crude Iron Maiden.  At least twice in the match, Valora sacrificed her own body to help her team out.  Her running Shooting Star Press up and off the top of the ladder, with a chair pressed tight to chest, taking out Team Danger and her mentor Umbrage.  Another time, she hit her Aztec Moonsault on Greer with a barbed wire 2×4 clutched to her chest and pinned him right after, pressing her own body onto the barbed wire to drive it further into Greer's body as well.  Later Greer would take that same barbed wire 2×4 and break it in half as he nailed Valora in the midsection with it.  Through it all, Valora refused to quit, refused to lay down and die, she forced herself to get up and keep fighting and in the end, it was a basic move, it was going back to wrestling 101 that saved the damn and sent a shockwave through the Alliance when a stunned and very excited crowd watched Valora roll up Greer in an inside cradle, using his size and weight against him and held him 1….2…3.

Valora was not the only hero in this match, however.  Umbrage more then lived up to his reputation and showed he is not nearly as washed up as people would like to believe he is.   He fought a young lion in Johnny Lightning and taught the kid a few things.  He and Valora teamed up on that same Johnny Lightning, as Umbrage hit the Riot Act from the top rope and Valora hit the Aztec Moonsault from the top of the ladder, a move that would have brought them victory, had Stephen Greer not broken up the pin.  It was Umbrage who rushed to Valora's side and dropped Lightning with a boot to the head and properly removed the nails from her before Valora, blinded by pain and anger, ripped them from her flesh, making the wounds worse.  It was Umbrage who removed Johnny Lightning from the match, brawling with him backstage before finally putting him through a burning table with the Detroit Breakdown, leaving Valora battling with Greer for the soul of the Alliance, and the fate of the WWA Tag Team Championships.  It was Umbrage's veteran experience to known when his partner was hurt and needed a breather and thus knowing when to step up and take the heat off her.  It was Umbrage who nearly destroyed a Steel Chair over Stephen Greer's head, and most importantly, it was Umbrage who laid the foundation for this, when he questioned Stephen Greer's hardcore.  An insult that seemed to really get under the skin of Greer and his partner and allowed Valora and Umbrage to lure Team Danger into a Hardcore Match, which then set the stage for the epic match we saw last night, a match that showcased how much these two teams have already come to hate each other and which some in the Alliance whisper just might be the match of the year.  Valora may have a big spotlight for her individual accomplishments and the press she gets, but Umbrage is far from a silent partner, delivering on his promise to bring tag team gold to Valora.

But Victory, as I said, comes with a price.  Valora alone, stepped out and said she would be the Heroine the Alliance needed and at Graveyard Shift 110, she learned the price a Hero pays.  After the match, and the post match beat down Stephen Greer gave her, Valora was carried from the WMW Arena unconscious, only the third time she had to be carried out on a stretcher and only the second time she left unconscious.  I have a preliminary medical report.  Severe Concussion.  Traumatic injury and blood loss.  Numerous unspecified internal injuries.  Valora will not be competing at Graveyard Shift 111, that is known.  What is known is just how long she will be out injured.  When she recovers, she has new challenges for her.  Stolen belts to retrieve.  A Defiance team that will be out for her blood.  Eric Dane will recognize Valora and Umbrage as a threat, maybe even WMW as a threat.  After everything Valora put herself through for WMW, for the Alliance, for herself, for the fans….

Her work has only just started, and from here the road only gets harder.

Still, Valora has proven time and time again that she thrives under pressure, thrives in the clutch moment.  She is cut from the same cloth as a Derek Jeter, Drew Brees, or any one of the elite few professional athletes who go out there night in and night out and deliver greatness, deliver moments.  Deliver memories.  An entire generation of Clevelanders will be able to look back at Thursday, February 25th, 2010 and say with pride:  "I was there when Valora and Umbrage beat Team Danger for the WWA Tag Team titles.  I was there when WMW drew the line against Defiance."

I was there.  I witnessed history.

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BLOG OF SHANK!

KNOW WHAT SHANK THINK? SHANK THINK THAT SHANK NOT SEE ENOUGH POSTS ABOUT SHANK ON WEBSITE OF MIDWEST WRESTLING!

THAT NOT GOOD!

SO, SHANK LOOK AT WEEK AND SHANK THINK, HEY HECTARE! WHY HECTARE NOT DEFEND TITLE OF HEARTLANDS CHAMPION AT SHIFTING GRAVEYARD! SHANK MEAN, TONIGHT IS NIGHT THAT SHANK HEAR ALL PEOPLES OF WORLD WATCH WMW! SO, WHY HECTARE HIDE? WHY HECTARE HIDE IN MTL3! IT MAKE SHANK SAD!

BUT FEAR NOT FANS OF SHANK! HEARTLANDS WILL ONCE AGAIN BE REPRESENTED BY SHANK! NOT NOW! NOT THE NIGHT OF A DAY THAT COME IN NEXT FEW DAYS! NO, SHANK WILL COME WHEN HECTARE EXPECTS IT THE LEAST! SHANK BE LIKE NINJA!

BUT NOT NINJA LIKE NINJA OF ISLAND OF MISFITTED PEOPLES! THOSE NINJAS, SHANK HEAR NOT VERY GOOD! MUCH LIKE CHERRY COKE NOT VERY GOOD!

BUT YES, TONIGHT! TONIGHT BIG NIGHT FOR MIDWEST WRESTLING! WHY? SHANK BET SOME PEOPLES THINK THAT IT BECAUSE VALORA AND UMBRAGE FIGHT FOR WWA TITLES OF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

YEAH, SHANK GET IT! IT GOOD! BUT, IT NOT GREAT! NOT LIKE SHANK! SHANK #1! AND, IT LIKE, MAKE SHANK NOT VERY HAPPY THAT MIDWEST WRESTLING TRY AND MAKE IT SOUND LIKE ANY ONE PERSON BETTER THAN SHANK!

WWA NOT IMPORTANT! SHANK IMPORTANT!

AND SHANK FANS NEVER FORGET!

Valora & AWS Man Shock Chicago!

For those fans who tuned into Graveyard Shift 109, you were treated to a weird ending to the show when Valora won her match, pinning both Ryven and Kronin, and then, bypassing her usual celebration, bolted out of the ring and to the back, through the backstage area and to the TDA locker room, only to emerge seconds later with AWS Man.  After an interesting, and somewhat comical exchange between the two, they both rushed out of the arena, leaving everyone wondering where they went.  Well, we now have word as to where they went.  This is the ending moments of a tag team title match on HOW's Turmoil:

Benny pours another for his broadcast partner as Mario pulls Scotty up to his feet and get a kick right between his legs as Mario drops to his knees.  It seems as Scotty is about to set up for the Game Misconduct, but we suddenly see a hooded person slide into the ring with a lead pipe in hand and as Cancer yells out and tries to enter the ring but is pulled off the apron by another hooded figure.

That's right.  Valora said before she left she was going to pull off an amazing feat and she did so.  She took part in two wrestling shows, in two different time zones on the same night!  I called WMW General Manager Sault St. Marie to get his reaction, but was unable to get in touch with him and staffers told me he was 'furious'.  As you fans may know Valora and Scottywood had had a very public war of words awhile back and Sault St. Marie ordered that it be ended and that WMW wrestlers focus on WMW, so it's not too hard to see why he'd be angry.  It seems Valora has started two different wars here, one with HOW and she has amped up her battles with Sault St. Marie.  and all of this happening while she is supposed to be preparing herself to face Team Danger at GS110 for the WWA Tag Team Titles!  Stay tuned to WMW News and tune into GS 110 to see all the fallout from this latest turn of events.

Jane Says 4 Part 2

Alright WMW Fans, as promised, here is part 2 of the latest episode of Jane Says.  You'll remember last night that I put out a little bit of a call to arms for various WMW superstars to start making the Alliance take notice of us and to, as I said, punch big bully Defiance right in the nose.'  Well some WMW Superstars have stepped up on that front.  We have some big, big news here folks.  First off, a slight change to my schedule as I believe my topics tonight to be more important.  No time to waste, so let's get right into the news!

As many of you loyal WMWers know, Kronin was the first WMW superstar to ever compete in an interfed match when he went into Dream and competed in a caged hell match against a rep from every fed in the Alliance.  Sadly, Kronin lost that match, but this past weekend, WMW took part in it's second interfed match.  Saturday night in Las Vegas, the WWA held it's Tag Wars event and WMW was represented by Jade and Hecate.  They were matched up agains St.Louis # from Appalachian Wrestling.  Folks, not only did Jade and Hecate win that match, they completely dismantled them.  This match was never in doubt from the get go and Jade and Hecate ran ramshod over them.  This brings WMW up to a 1-1 in interfed Alliance battles.  Though their opponents were a couple of rookies, Jade and Hecate fought and fired on all cylinders and won a big, dominating victory in a very high profile event covered by media from all over the WWA.  Let's not forget this match happened 3 days after Graveyard Shift, where Jade and Hecate were in a very close, very hard fought battle with the Hardcore Icons as well.  Jade and Hecate continued what Kronin began showing that the WMW can compete – and win – against the other feds in the WWA.  Hopefully we will keep this going as the WWA tag team title come to WMW at Graveyard Shift 110, and either the Hardcore Icons or the team of Kronin and Ryven, still WMW Tag Team champs, by the way, will have a chance to bring home the WWA Tag Team titles in only WMW's third interfed event.  Best of luck to those two teams coming up at Graveyard Shift 109, and a big congratulations to Jade and Hecate for their big win Saturday Night in Sin City.

Now, as to the answering of my call for action.  I spent the day trying to get a hold of every WMW wrestler I could.  I reached Jade and Hecate in their hotel room in Vegas and both indicated to me that they planned to enter Tag Wars 2 and would not rule out more interfed involvement for them as well.  I also got a hold of Kronin who also indicated that he had plans for interfed involvement and hinted that he too was getting tired of WMW being overlooked and written off.  I got a hold of Father Nathan as well who indicated indicated supreme disappointment with the the moral quality of Defiance's programming and even went so far as to say he considered them a bigger threat then the Daughters of Darkness and would put his issues with the DoD on hold to tend to Defiance.  I was unable to get a hold of Druscilla who is has returned to England and is not taking calls at the moment.  But I was able to get a hold of Valora who reiterated her frustration at being kept out of the interfed struggles and indicated to me that if Sault St. Marie didn't let her into thing officially she would have to "Take matters into her own hands."  I don't know about you fans out there, but Valora taking matters into her own hands scares the crap out of me.  I tried calling a whole host of other WMW stars but was unable to contact them, hopefully I'll be able to touch base with them and update things as they go along.  I will also keep an eye out, to the best of my ability, to update you all as to what actions follow up these verbal commitments.

As the first update, I come to Graveyard Shift 109, this Thursday Night.  Hardcore Icons, Valora and Umbrage squaring off against the WMW Tag Team Champs, Ryven and Kronin.  Winner of this match goes on to Graveyard Shift 110 and challenges Team Danger from Defiance for the WWA Tag Team Titles.  This is the third time these two teams, Hardcore Icons and Ryven/Kronin have faced each other.  The series between them is tied 1-1.  There are rumors that there might be some sort of stipulation to this match as well, something designed to force both teams to prove, once and for all, who the better team is.  There are rivalries and feuds aplenty in this match as well.  Umbrage and Ryven.  Ryven has sworn to erase Umbrage's legacy and match it with his own.  Umbrage, meanwhile, has already chosen the successor to his legacy.  Valora, and in so doing, hopes to cement his legacy, by passing it on to the next generation to carry on.  On the other side, we have Kronin, the former Great Lakes Champion, forced to stand by in the penalty box and watch as Valora ripped the briefcase holding his Great Lakes Championship off the metal hooks to win the Frostbite Brawl match at Blizzard 2009.  Add in Valora's accusations that Kronin and AWS Man screwed over Jade when she held the belt to ensure that the GLC stayed a "good ol' boys club", and her biting criticisms of Kronin's performance at Caged Hell, and you have a rivalry that is heating up quick, heading into Ides of March where the two will face off for the GLC. 

Additionally, expect some fallout from Graveyard Shift 108 when Gras-Dag was screwed out of the title by not one but two men.  Jordan Keyser and Wone both got involved in the match.Despite that, Gras-Dawg almost overcame the adversity and won the match and the title, but Hecate has just a bit more experience in the ring and she finally claimed a victory, albeit a somewhat tainted one, over the brash young man from New Orleans.  The first bit of fallout came right after Graveyard Shift 108, when a very angry Gras-Dawg demanded a rematch for the Heartlands title, putting his own contract on the line to get said rematch.  This is a horrible idea, in my opinion.  Not because I don't think Gras-Dawg can beat Hecate.  He clearly showed that he CAN do it.  But because of the huge risk he is taking.  We have seen this contract on the lines cost WMW great talent in the past, and I sure hope it doesn't rob us of another great young talent in Gras-Dawg.  But either way, Gras-Dawg will be in the building.  Thursday night and considering both Wone and Jordan Keyser have matches that night..  I expect to see Gras-Dawg return the favor to those two.

We also have a returning WMW Star, Matrix making his return to the ring against the Analog Kid in what should prove to be an interesting match.  That about rounds out the preview of Graveyard Shift 109.  Stay Tuned to WMW News for more news updates as we get them!  Til then goodnight!

Jane Says 4 Part 1

Hello and Welcome, WMW Fans to another Edition of Jane Says!  We have a lot to cover today.  On the agenda for this blog, we'll be looking to give you an update on WMW News, a quick review of Graveyard Shift 108 and a look ahead to Graveyard Shift 109.  We're also take an overview of how things are panning out and shaping up as we head into the Ides of March pay per view.

Starting off with WMW News, we're going to try something new here this week as we have just confirmed a hot rumor out of Chicago.  Rumors had been circulating that High Octane Wrestling had decided to drop their affiliation with the WWA.  I looked into this immediately as this was a potentially big announcement and I can report that according to HOW's website, the Chicago based wrestling federation has in fact, left the Alliance.  I tried to get in touch with HOW management to try and learn the reason for their departure but we have heard that this decision as a result of information revealed on High Octane Radio this past week, which then led Lee Best, fed head of HOW to make the decision to withdraw his fed from the WWA.  WMW News will try to stay on top of this as HOW is also a Midwest fed and of course, earlier in the year there was a very public feud between Great Lakes Champion Valora and one half of the HOW Tag Team Champions, Scottywood.  Stay tuned and we will try to get updates on this situation as it develops.

In other news, it has been confirmed from WMW Medical staff and Amariie's private doctors that her neck did indeed suffer a minor to moderate sprain.  She will be out for an undetermined length of time.  Amariie becomes the second WMW Star to be added to the Injured Reserve list this year, joining Jack Reynolds whose knee was seriously damaged by Amariie at Blizzard.

For my last bit of news, I… have my first special comment.  WMW has been in the WWA just over a month now.  So far we've been the quiet new kids on the block.  We've sat on the sidelines and watched the feds of the Alliance try to stand up to Defiance.  I have followed Defiance programming, as I'm sure many have.  I and others have seen the type of thugs Eric Dane and his miscreants have.  And…after reading the latest issue of Polla to the People, I find myself agreeing with Pollaski.  The WWA has been waiting for someone to stand up to Eric Dane and his band of Miscreants.  So… why not us?

No one can sit here and tell me Kronin doesn't have a score to settle with Joe Drago.  He is also in prime position to become one half of the WWA Tag Team champions if he and Ryven can defeat the Hardcore Icons and move on to Graveyard Shift 110, where they will face the WWA tag champs.  Or, option two, the Hardcore Icons, Valora and Umbrage move to that match, either way you have some of the very best talent WMW has to offer in a big time interfed match up for an interfed title.  Jade and Hecate are in the tag wars tournament and Pollaski even has them favored to beat their first round opponents.  It's time for WMW to get off the damn bench and show the WWA who the hell we are.  It's my personal belief that WMW has much better talent then Defiance, so why are we waiting?  Valora was frustrated this week that WMW management has been holding her back, I say, take the leash off.  Unleash Valora in all her fury upon the WWA.  Remember folks, Valora came from nowhere.  She walked in practically off the street, was almost unheard of and became the first WMW superstar to attract national media attention and EWTorch named her the female fighter of the year for 2009.  She came from nowhere and now stands astride the WMW like a colossus.  Some people all her overly arrogant for entering to a song entitled 'Invincible' but she has proven to be pretty damn close to that.  So let her out, let her teach the WWA to respect her as she has taught the WMW to respect her.  I believe Valora could be the person to end Cobra's stranglehold on the WWA World Title.  Let her out, let Kronin out.  When Jade and Hecate return from Vegas victorious, let them back out too.  With HOW leaving, there is going to be a huge void to fill.  So… let's have WMW step up and fill that damn void.

We have a simple choice.  We can let Defiance run everything and sit by, looking out our window and shaking our head at what we see, or we can walk up to big bully on the corner and punch him right in the nose.  I personally prefer number two, but then, like Jack Reynolds, I don't like jerks.  And Defiance is full of them.

And it's late here, the special comment taking longer then I thought to write.  Stay Tuned WMW fans, Part 2 of Jane Says will be coming soon.  

Jane Says 3

Welcome WMW fans to the latest edition of Jane Says!  In this edition we will take you through a review of Groundhog Slay, a look forward to Graveyard Shift 108, and a special video blog showcasing an interview between me and the WMW Heartlands Champion, Hecate as well as news from around the WMW!  Lots to get to so let’s get started.

First off, WMW’s Queen of Controversy struck again.  Valora had made the trip to Orlando this past Sunday and watched Kronin compete in Dream’s Caged Hell WWA match.  During the week, she was highly critical of Kronin, stating that Kronin wasn’t up to the needed level and that he had choked during the match and perhaps Sault St. Marie should have sent her instead.  Then during the Groundhog Slay pay per view itself, she arrived at WMW Arena and greeted with a summons to Sault St. Marie’s office.  She responded by knocking the Stagehand out with her lead pipe, and blowing off the summons.  I’ve been informed from the WMW Front Office that Valora has been fined for her assault on the stagehand, but regardless, It is becoming clear, to me at least, that Sault St. Marie will have to step up and take action against Valora.  He can’t sit by and let his authority be challenged, but the question is… what action to take against WMW’s Franchise player?

On the subject of Groundhog Slay 2010, it was an action packed show that delivered memorable events and surprises in just about every match.  Gras-Dawg, once again found a way to win, delivering a Voodoo Plunge to Jordan Keyser from the top rope to net himself a win over the executioner in a very close and hard fought match and earn himself a Heartlands title shot at Graveyard Shift 108.  Hecate defeated Damian Knight one more time but then…is anyone surprised?  In what did turn out to be a surprise, Jade and Amariie had a tough, epic confrontation but in the end, Jade was just a bit better as she knocked Amariie out with a Jade Kick while Amariie was in mid air, trying for a moonsault.  We have heard preliminary reports that Amariie was injured in that match, we will keep you informed of further developments as that story unfolds.

In the Ace Superior Title match, Father Nathan pulled off a huge win as he earned both his first victory over Druscilla and his first title as he walks out of Groundhog Slay the new Ace Superior Champion,  A big win for him and a  devastating loss for the Daughters of Darkness who are now reeling from 3 straight losses to Irish Catholic Priest.

In the tag team title match, Valora’s tag team woes continued as she once again failed to win the Tag Team Titles.  Her and Umbrage took it to Ryven and Kronin, but Kronin and Ryven were just a few steps  ahead and came out with the titles, Ryven claimed after the match that he and Kronin would hold the belts longer then Umbrage’s record setting reign.  Valora’s woes continue in the tag team division, which continues to be the only division that she can’t find success in.  Everyone has an Achilles heel and it seems the tag team division just might be Valora’s.

This brought us up to featured bout of the night, the All-In Challenge.  Nearly every superstar took part in this big time match, which had it’s own fair share of surprises.  The biggest of which had to be AWS Man being eliminated by none other then WMW Commentator Bill Hughes, after AWS Man brought him into the match and began pummeling on him for no reason whatsoever.  This might seem odd to most but then, they don’t call AWS Man (Also Known as Bill) the Insane One for nothing.  The big winner of the night was Kronin who went from number 7 all the way through, ending AWS Man’s previous dominance of the match.  This win earns Kronin a date with Valora at Ides of March in a Great Lakes Championship match.

Looking ahead to GS 108, WMW is looking to get the MTL 3 tournament started and we also have the highly anticipated Heartlands title match pitting the Champion, Hecate, who is getting nearer and nearer to breaking Jade’s record as longest reigning Heartlands champ, defends against the brash, cocky, and athletically talented Gras-Dawg.  Also, we already seem to have what should be the official card taking shape.  Matches booked so far for the show are:

Wone taking on Damian Knight

Mo’Bad taking on the Analog Kid StormRider

Gras-Dawg vs Hecate for the Heartlands Championship

Eric Dillenger and Jordan Keyser taking on a team to be announced

The Hardcore Icons vs Jade and Hecate

AWS Man (Also Known as Bill) and Adam Pyre vs Kronin and Ryven

So as you can see, an exciting card taking shape.  Now, for my weekly overview of the Ace Superior Division and there have been big shifts here.  We have gotten word that Druscilla is still in the division but may be taking some time off from in ring action.  Adam Pyre, and Ryven have also left the division.  Wone and Eric Dillenger have been moved up to the ASC division to replace the departing ones as Ryven moves into the Shoot division, the same division that Umbrage has also entered, meaning that in the Ace Superior Division, Father Nathan will have a whole host of new challengers awaiting him and neither one of the new entrants are known for taking prisoners.  Early predictions for Ides of March are Father Nathan vs Wone for the Ace Superior Championship.

Now for our brand new feature here.  A videoblog post, featuring an Interview I did earlier in the day with Hecate.  We covered a lot of topics and this just might become a regular feature here on Jane Says.  Without any further adieu, here we go:

Jane – And now fans, for an exciting first for me.  Our very first interview  segment on Jane Says.  My first guest, is none other then Hecate, the WMW Heartlands Champion

[Hecate walks in wearing her ring attire with a black and green leather duster over top, the Heartlands belt fastened around her waist.]

Hecate – Thanks for having me on the Show again Jane.

Jane – Anytime, Hecate.  Now, I have a lot of questions and would like to get into it.  First off, Father Nathan shocked the WMW world by defeating Druscilla to win the Ace Superior Title and also earn his third straight win over the Daughters of Darkness.  Put simply.  Have the Daughters of Darkness underestimated Father Nathan and is the DoD in trouble?

[Hecate shakes her head slowly.]

Hecate – Father Nathan declared war on the Daughters of Darkness, all to appease his own self worth. Things like that carrry costs, costs that yet to be paid. Father Nathan has gotten a few wins, the victory over Jade was a shocker, the victory over Druscilla….that is a different situation. I will just say that Father Nathan will have to paid the price for his actions soon enough.

Jane – I see.  Father Nathan has said he expected to pay a price for things as well, we will have to see what the future holds in store for him.  I am glad for his success though, being something of a fan of his.

[Hecate smiles slightly.]

Hecate – He has earned some success here, but he’s allowing the fans to dictate what he does, not his God or himself and that will get him into situations he doesn’t want to be in.

Jane – Now, onto my next question.  You are a technical wrestler.  Jade is primarily a martial artist.  Traditionally, these two types have had a noted rivalry in Pro-Wrestling.  Yet, in spite of this, you and Jade have teamed up.  What made you try this pairing and how do you overcome the difference in mindset and style?

[Hecate chuckles softly.]

Hecate – Well lets start with the second part of your question, the mindset is actually easy to overcome because neither of us have that sort of mindset. We both are students of the ancient ways and have been trained to never stop learning and improving. Because of that, Jade searched for someone to help her with the weaknesses in her game and I looked to add yet another level to my game. Jade was sent to me and we just hit it off, kinda hard to describe what happened. After working together awhile, we talked about our lack of success in the tag team divisions and decided to give it one more shot and see if we could make a go of it

Jane – and speaking of hitting it off, there have been a few teasing segments and rumors are flying about just how deep you two have gotten in your team.  What exactly is the status of your relationship with Jade?

[Hecate quirks an eyebrow and grins.]

Hecate – Now that would be telling, I will say we have become very good friends, suppose you could call use BFF’s. Where it goes from there, time will tell..Jade is still dealing with the situation between her and Scott Vyper.

Jane – She does seem to be upset about that situation, for sure.  One last question on you and Jade as a tag team before we move onto a few other topics.  You and Jade have been chosen to represent WMW in the WWA Tag Wars Tournament, and entered MTL 3.  Why do you think you and Jade were chosen when Ryven and Kronin weren’t and can they be stopped as the tag team champions?

[Hecate pauses for a moment and thinks.]

Hecate – I can’t say for certain why Sault St. Marie and WMW Management picked us over the Tag Champs, but if I have to guess I would say WMW is trying to get as many of the top WMW stars out there for exposure plus Sault St. Marie is expecting big draws from the expected Kronin and Valora matches and he wouldn’t risk his money makers.

Jane - That makes sense.  And the other part?  Can Ryven and Kronin be beaten as tag team champs?  Or are they just too perfect a team to stop at the moment?

[Hecate shakes her head.]

Hecate – Anyone or any team can be beated, Kronin and Ryven are both very good but just like Valora they are not unbeatable. It takes a smart game plan and focusing on uncovering their weaknesses inside the ring and exploiting them.

Jane – I see.  Now, onto this coming week.  You must defend your title for the second time in 2 weeks, this time against the undefeated newcomer from New Orleans, Gras-Dawg, who seems to be simply on fire since his debut in WMW.  Now, I have a few questions about him.  First off, Do you consider him a worthy contender for your title?  And are you intimidated by him?  Not necesarrily by the man himself but by what he brings to the ring, given his size, strength and athletic ability?

Hecate – Gras-Dawg, he’s been impressive so far here in the WMW but he’s only had three matches, It’s hard to really know how a person will do after only watching three matches. Is he a worthy contender for the Heartlands Title…Jane, how many times have we talked now? I take every contender exactly the same, as if they were worthy and the best out there, Gras-Dawg will be no different

[Hecate pauses and takes a sip of water before shaking her head again.]

Hecate – I’ve wrestled all over Japan, I’ve being a training partner for Kronin and got broken down and rebuilt in the Dungeon for just starters, I’m not intimidated by any opponent, I respect his skills and what he can do in the ring, but I don’t fear him or am intimidated by him.

[Hecate smiles and takes another sip of water before answering.]

Hecate – I’ll prepare for him like I do all my opponents, I will devise a way to break him down and go into the ring and do just that. He’s an impressive wrestler, but he’s still learning how to translate from a street fighter to a ring wrestler.

Jane – It should be a great match to see, that’s for sure.  Now, about the All-In Challenge and Groundhog Slay as a whole, what were your impressions?  How do you feel about how thinngs went down?

[Hecate lets out a short little laugh]

Hecate – Well upsetting Pyre’s plans were fun, payback’s a bitch. And choking Damian Knight out after her tried to trick me out of the HL title was surprisingly enjoyable. For the All-In match itself, it’s always a let down to not win your the match your in, but those types of matches are so chaotic by nature as long as you last some time in there you can consider it a victory, especially being one of the smaller participates. Overall I think WMW put out another solid show and look forward to topping it at Ides of March

Jane – I’m looking forward to Ides of March too.  That brings us to the end of the questions.  Any final remarks to add in?

[Hecate smiles and takes another sip of her water.]

Hecate – Thanks for having me on again, and I have to say that things will be getting very interesting in the Heartlands division fairly soon, I got approval from WMW management to start implementing some of my ideas in the near future.

And that was my video interview with Hecate, and also brings us to the end of this weeks blog post.  Tune in next week to get the inside scoop about news and happenings inside WMW!  Until then, I’m Jane Coughlin, WMW News, heading out.

Valora’s Rants

Right, so I was down in Orlando last night, went to Dream's interfed. Got a few things to say.  First off the bat, I know why no one wanted my ass in that cell, because WMW would have actually WON the damn thing.  But no, we got Kronin, handpicked by Sault St. Marie and what does he do?  Chokes.  He was obviously the most talented man in that ring, and yet he found a way to screw the pooch.  Next time Sault, send me, unless of course, you mean for us to keep losing.

-Sigh- I swear I'm surrounded by fucking idiots.

I don't know maybe someone should book a tournament, series of one on one matches.  Maybe that will be more Kronin's speed.  He's great in singles matches, tends to drop the ball in multi-person matches.  To be fair, he came close to winning but then again, close only counts in Horseshoes and hand grenades.  I don't know, maybe AWS Man is right and he is more deserving of a shot at my belt then Kronin is.  Maybe I'll just tell Kronin to show me can come through in the clutch.  Cause right now…I'm sitting in a spot where I've seen you come through in the clutch but in every big time match we've had in 2010, and he's about to lose another couple of big matches come Groundhog Slay.

This brings us to the inevitable question.  "Well what would have happened had you gone, Valora?"  Well, I'll tell you what would have happened.  I woulda beat the shit out of 5 other people and someone would have gotten an Aztec moonsault.  Who knows, maybe I would gone outside the cell and delivered it outside to in on one of them, But one thing is for sure, WMW would have won had I been sent in.  Now yes, I know people will bitch and moan calling me a sore loser.  But I'm not.  I'm not saying WMW should have won, or anything like that.  I'm simply saying I think Sault St. Marie picked the wrong person for the job, and I'm an equal opportunity critic.  If I think my own fed fucked up somewhere, I'm gonna call them on it.

Now, let's see… what else has me pissed off as of late…  I bet people are expecting me to go on a rant about Adam challenging the damn groundhog to a match, but I'm not.  I said I expected a slain groundhog or a groundhog slaying someone for some truth to our name and Adam went and decided to deliver one of those things to me.  It's kind of sweet, in a crazy, psychotic sort of way.

Ah yes!  Let's talk about Sam Hershey 2.0 or Padre Nate as I've taken to calling him.  Padre Nate says that he's shocked, simply shocked and appalled to find such a corrupt, sinful environment here in Pro-Wrestling and has sworn to do something about it.  First off… why the fuck are you surprised?  This is Pro-Wrestling, not Mr. Rogers fucking neighborhood.  As for cleaning up our act… careful Padre.  That kinda talk got Sam Hershey sent out of here, crying like a little bitch as he left.  Piss off too many people and that will be your fate too.

Oh, another thing pushing my buttons, and this one goes out to the clusterfuck of monkeys that call themselves WMW Management.  How the fuck about some singles matches, huh?  I mean don't get me wrong, Umbrage and I are unbeatable as a team and he's a shitload of fun in the bar but a month straight of tag matches?  There's gotta be someone dumb/brave enough to get into the ring with me one on one.  You assholes should get to finding that person and setting it up so I can kick their ass.

Fuck's sake, there are times when I feel like I am or should be running things around this place…

Oh, and before any loudmouths in WMW tell me to put my money where my mouth is, Tune in to Groundhog Slay.  Umbrage and I will beat the golden boys of WMW, RyKro down like the whipping boys they really are.  They later on, I get to kick the shit out of Kronin in the All-In.   Unlike certain people in WMW and outside it, I back up my talk.  Speaking of which, I'm late to meet up with Umbrage for some training.  Back later.

Nocturnal Thoughts of the Dark Priestess

Everyone's favorite Priestess and Oracle here, time again for another edition of my personal thoughts on WMW, The Heartlands Division and anything else I have an opinion on. I've gotten a number of e-mails from the fans asking some important questions, at least from the fan's point of view, so I will be getting to those as well.

Lets get started with one of the most popular questions I've received lately, my thoughts on the whole WMW-HOW bitchfest and why I didn't post my position on Valora's blog. Lets see, HOW is a global fed who's ratings were dropping as posted by their own management and they see little ole WMW picking on on that and decide attack WMW for it, cause controversy and shock or trash talk generates ratings which HOW needs. As for why I didn't comment, why should I, all commenting does it give more ratings to HOW and does HOW pay my paycheck? Hades no, and until they do,  I don't give a frak what HOW does or says, clear enough for you now?

Graveyard Shift 107 was a good night for us overall, Druscilla dismantled the Knights and it's obvious that Damian Knight will be all alone when he faces me at Groundhog Slay '10, bet he wishes he could take that challenge back now. Then in the main event, Kronin, Ryven, Jade and myself all joined up and put down TDA! in a huge eight man tag match that turned into a no disqualification and no count-out match and when all was said and done, I covered Adam Pyre for the three count. Looks like TDA! will have to step it up at GHS to get the momentum back on their side, since they fell short of claiming "The most dominant" stable in WMW title this week, I'll set out the cheese and crackers for them so they have something to go with their whine.

Speaking of Adam Pyre…hold up what's this…just so you know, I just got an e-mail from Samantha wanting to know what I'm doing while I'm writing this blog up, talk about wanting to know everything. It just so happens that I'm laying on my bed on my stomach typing this up on the laptop while watching 300 on the HD TV set up in my room, all the lights out and just some candles to make things easier to see. I so love spending my late nights like this, nice and cozy…but back to Adam Pyre, you and I have some unfinished business Adam, and sooner or later we will be settling that. I haven't forgotten what you did to me at Graveyard Shift 101, but I'm also told you were the one who found me and got help after someone else jumped me back stage, I'm still not convinced it wasn't some big act on your part but I'm willing to wait and see just how you behave.

Hey! Stop it! This is my blog, get your own if you want to give people your thought. Help! Help! I'm being attacked……..

Don't listen to her.  She was the one who wanted this in the first place.  Hey there WMW fans, it's the Shoot Champion Jade.  I know most of you are probably wondering what I'm doing here, well that's an easy question to tackle.  Hecate and I are having a…debate of sorts.  She is showcasing to me how great the best of the Greek Warriors, the Spartans were.  I'm trying to drive home the need for intelligence as well as fighting ability and thus am countering with a few choice Jet Li movies, and the fact that for all their supposed power, the Spartans lost to the nerds of the Greek world, the Athenians.  Brains over brawn!  I'm also waiting for 'Deadliest Warrior' the game to come out for download later this year so that my Shoalin monk can beat her Spartan's ass.  Here's to hoping that the game is better then the show's so called experts, who are really nothing more then poorly trained trash talkers.  Anyways, I suppose I should write something WMW related.  Since WMW has opened up these blogs, I've had tons of email asking if I'll be getting my own, if I don't, I'll just keep hijacking Hecate's.  The answer to that is… yes, I hope to have my own blog real soon.  I've also had a good deal of email asking me how I feel about the stipulations of my title match against Amariie.  I'm fine with them.  Within recent months, Amariie has had 3 or 4 title shots.  If she fails in this attempt, someone else should get a chance.  Also, as much of a friend as I am to Amariie, I have to say, I really feel the Shoot title has allowed me to get back to my roots and of course, Hecate and I train together a lot and she has shown me a few things as well.  All in all, I must say I do not like Amariie's chances at all.  She has begun to realize her mistakes, but not all of them.  I believe another lesson will be in order and school will be in session come Groundhog Slay.  After all, I took out the Great Lakes Champ with the Lightning Spiral this week in the tag team event.  (Bet most people had forgotten I knew that little trick, didn't you?)  Alright, looks like Hecate is about to get back on the bed, time for me to sign off!  Have fun !

Damnable woman, hijacking my blog. She's just upset cause I keep spanking her ass all the time. One moment while I see what she wrote in this thing. Ha! Shoalin monk beat my Spartan ass? Keep dreaming wench, I'll show you how we Spartans kick ass and I've yet to hear you complain about it. Of course she's ignoring the fact that the Spartan's had plenty of brains to go along with their Brawn and the Spartans came up with the original model for what would turn into the European Feudal system, although my Spartans governed it much better than the Europeans ever did. Want to know a secret, she hates that I'm better than she is at UFC 2009 Undisputed, she can't believe someone who isn't as big a video game nut as she is can be better than her at something, but we're slowing working our way through her video game collection and yes she kicks my butt at most games, but she's good at making me feel good afterwards. Don't give me that look, you know damn well it's true you little wench.

Speaking of little wenches, I got this memo here from Mischa Barnes of the WMW Web department telling me that WMW management wants me to give my opinions and views on the Heartlands Division specifically. Everyone wants to know why I haven't dropped the belt to move up to the higher divisions as everyone expected me to, some people think I am shooting to break Jade's record for longest Heartlands Title reign, or perhaps going after Kinski's reign of longest title holder in WMW period. Well those things are nice, but I have a different reason for not dropping the Heartland's Title and soon I'll share it with everyone, but not just yet. Hey don't give me those looks, you have to wait just along with everyone else. Jade's pouting cause she doesn't want to wait, told you she was a wench. Now the Heartlands Division has some new blood, Gras-Dawg, Jordan Keyser and The Analog Kid, all trying to make a name for themselves with Gras-Dawg and Keyser in a match at Groundhog Slay to see who is the next person to challenge me, after I put the final nail in Damian Knight's coffin. Do I have a preference on who wins or who I face? Both men are big, although Gras-Dawg seems to be slightly bigger but have very similar styles in the ring, so honestly no I don't care which of them wins, when they face me at Graveyard Shift 108, they will fall short and I'll still be the Heartlands Champion.

Now you really are being a wench on purpose, Jade is distracting me on purpose here, so I'm gonna close out this blog here and go deal with her. What was that? Oh she's fighting dirty now….Until next time…

Valora’s Blog 3

Well folks, another Graveyard Shift has come and gone, Kronin is likely on a beach somewhere in Orlando, and most importantly, I'm bored so it's about that time for another installment of my blog, and I have some boring official shit I have to get out of the way.

Firstly, you might have noticed the title has changed.  This was, obviously, intentional on my part.  Anyone who reads these likely has realized the little spat the last one started.  Now, as my so called opponents have proven to be about as smart as your average 6th grader, they have been thoroughly rebuffed, outwitted, run circles around, and any other cliche you want to use for having their asses verbally handed to them, but, due to whole, not the sharpest tool in the shed problem they have, they don't seem to get it.  So between that, and some official duties that I've been 'volunteered' for, WMW management preferred I take a more 'Official' sounding title.  It'll force certain people to use all 3 or 4 of their brain cells, so I decided to go with it.

Now, you might have noticed, unless you're not paying attention, in which case you should wake the fuck up, that I mentioned there was some official stuff being added to these.  Well here comes.  Jane Coughlin, WMW reporter will be doing this as well, I'm told, but the geniuses in WMW Management have decided that it would be really cool for me to give my take on the GLC division since I'm currently on top of it, and the WMW.  Slightly less official then that, I've added my own feature where I'm going to be giving what I think is the soundbite or piece of trash talking of the week.  So, stay tuned for that shit, cause this week's is pretty damn good if I say so, myself.

Now, I'm sure the new members of my fan club are waiting for me to comment on a few things, but I'm going to hold off on that as there are more important matters to cover first.

Firstly, If any of you saw the match tonight, then you noticed that a certain person who has no business getting involved in a match, got involved in a match.  Lilly, you need to remember that your business is to stand there, do the rah-rah thing for Kronin and look pretty.  You wanna step up and play with the big boys and big girls, you better be able to back it up.  I owe you payback for that little shot, and I'm gonna get it.  Sooner or later.  Consider this your final warning to stay outta my business, bitch.

Well since that is as good a lead in as you're going to get from me, let's go to the new trash talk/soundbite of the week.  This first edition's comes from Kronin, who I was quite sure couldn't trash talk if his life depended on it but damn if he didn't go and prove me wrong.  Kronin promised those of us in WMW that he would go all out for his caged hell match tomorrow and he dug deep and found that he has some balls after all.  This excerpt comes from his recent promo for the caged hell match in which he addresses Appalachian Wrestling's C.R.I.P:  

Kronin: Tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you a special, limited edition, autographed copy of Death by Metal to take back to Louisiana with you. Then you can brag to your friends and show them the 'I got my ass kicked by Kronin and all I got was this concussion' T-shirt I give out with my ass kickings

I don't know about you, but I laughed my ass off at reading that, though, I hate to break it to Kronin, with that emotional outburst, he lost his contest of who is the most vulcan like to Jade.  Who knows?  Maybe Kronin will finally get the message and show us a bit of that emotion here in WMW. 

And, that also brings us to the end of my first new addition to this bitch.  Wasn't so hard, was it?  Maybe in later editions, I'll give honorable mentions or something but for right now, I want to see how creative and entertaining people can be.

Which brings me now, I suppose, to the part WMW Management would like me to do.  Champ's view of their division.  Not like there's much to cover here.  3 fucking people in the Great Lakes Division.  Me, AWS Man, Kronin.  Two people who should be here, are wasting their fucking time in lower divisions.  Jade got fucked over to keep the division a good ol' boys club and instead of kicking ass and doing something about it, she ran off, disappeared for a couple of months, and came back in the Shoot Division where her only competition was sir gimpsalot, aka Jack Reynolds and Amariie.  Then there's Hecate, hiding out in the Heartlands division.  She knows she's better then that division yet refuses to move up.  Normally, I'd say she were afraid of tougher competition, but then WMW Management continues to throw softball opponents like Damian fucking Knight.  This guy makes Shank look like a great wrestler.  But anyways, the GLC division.  What's to say?  I'm Champ.  The first championship belt I won here in WMW was the Hardcore Championship.  I set a record for longest ever reign as said Hardcore champ, beat everyone in my division 2 sometimes 3 times, ended 3 or 4 careers and finally decided to take pity on the poor fucks and retired the belt, citing no competition, and reserving the right to bring it out if some competition were to show itself.

Then, within a month of retiring the Hardcore title, I went down to Mexico City and beat the living shit out of Ryven to take hold of the Ace Superior Championship, the same Ace Superior Championship that a certain loud mouthed so called Hardcore Artist failed to win in two attempts.  Then fast forward a couple of months and a few defenses later and boom.  Frostbite Brawl.  I win the Great Lakes Championship.  The trend here?  Once I get gold around this sexy, Latina waist of mine, I don't lose it.  That means AWS Man and Kronin are going to be without gold for a long, long time, unless they move to other divisions or find a way to change history.  My goal for the GLC is the same as it was for the Hardcore, same as it was for the ASC.  Set a record for longest reigning champion.  So I guess I'm saying come and get me if you can boys.  Now, one interesting note.  This coming Thursday, Groundhog Slay in WMW, featuring the All-In Challenge.  The chance for one lucky WMW star to come out and get a chance at my belt.  Let me be clear on this.  There is no one in WMW currently that I can't beat.  Yes, even you, Hecate.  Already the accusations have started that if I win, I'll pick an easy opponent, someone like a Damian Knight or a Shank, just to ensure a successful title defense.  To them I say, fuck you.  I beat Justin Evers in a Texas Death Match.  I beat Adam Pyre in a Hardcore Hell match and a Gates of Hell match.  Do I seriously look like someone who needs an easy match?  I have chosen my opponent already in case I win the All-In Challenge, it will be someone who deserves it and if it goes down, it will be an epic, instant classic sort of confrontation.

Right, so done with the boring official shit now, time to get back to being me.  I was reading the news earlier today, seems like Scottywood is no longer GM of HOW.  Great move, I wouldn't want a 5th grader running my damn shows either.  Looks like Lee Best and the adults in HOW are trying to stop the trend of dropping ratings on their shows.  We'll see what happens.  In the meantime, however, time to get back to the 5th grade wonder,
Scottywood-if-he-could.  I've taken notice of your challenge for the Great Lakes Championship if you manage to beat me in Chicago.  I said I'd be willing to discuss that, then few days go by, no trash talk, no contact, and during that time, your radio show comes on.  Now to be fair, I noticed that I did get an invite to appear on that, which I didn't notice until I checked my twitter after the show.  But I hear all sorts of things, kicking around ideas, want me to beat other HOW stars before I beat you?  Sure why not?  How bout Kirsta Lewis?  She consistently runs up in the top of the EWTorch rankings with me, let's hook up and let the fans see who's better.  I'll let you guys sort out your end.  On my end, I got called into Sault's office.  I'm told WMW Management will make their views known shortly, if I get bored of waiting, I'll tell people what they said.  Bottom line though is it's pretty fucking insane and stupid to ask for a title shot when you aren't risking something equal.  Just remember Scotty.  You started this little spat and it's about to blow up in your face big time when I beat your ass to a pulp and sooner or later, I will get my hands on you and when I do, the Hardcore Artists will just be my latest work of art.  Make fun of my styles I know, my finishing moves all you want.  I got a dozen different ways to put your punk ass down for the count.  Be it my Aztec Moonsault, a lead pipe to the head, fucking defibrillators, or anything else I need, I will beat some respect into you. 

You know, it's funny.  You and the like, two or three buddies you have like to go on about how worthless a fed we are and how big and bad HOW is, simple question.  If we're so far beneath the notice of the great and mighty HOW, why you guys picking a fight.  I have to give Kronin credit once more.  He was dead on.  WMW doesn't pick fights.  But you come at us and pick a fight with us, we will fucking bury you.

And on that cheerful note, time for me to get back to work.  I got me an All-In Challenge and some tag team titles to win, and unlike some people, I actually take what I do very seriously.  Time to hit the gym and train, and then Umbrage and I will be back to our usual spot in Cleveland, doing training of a different kind.  Once again, questions or just about anything else can be sent to valora@wrestlingmidwest.com  If you're lucky, I might even respond to them in my blog here.

Adios.

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Blog of Shank!

KNOW WHAT SHANK THINK? FIRST AND FOREMOST! SHANK NOT CARE WHAT VALORA SAY ABOUT WRESTLING OF HIGH OCTANED! AND SHANK NOT CARE ABOUT VALORA!

KNOW WHAT SHANK CARE ABOUT?

SHANK CARE ABOUT OUTLAW BIKER! SHANK KNOW IT SAD TO WATCH OUTLAW BIKER MAKE FOOL OF OUTLAW BIKER! BUT, IT EVEN MORE SAD TO SHANK FOR SHANK TO SEE STUPID MOD MAKE FOOL OF OUTLAW BIKER!

MOD HAS NO SMARTS! NOT LIKE SHANK HAS SMARTS! MOD SO STUPID, THAT, WHEN MOD GO TO EVEN OF MIDWEST WRESTLING, HE LOSE $10,000 EVERY TIME! IT LIKE, MOD PAY MIDWEST WRESTLING, INSTEAD OF OTHER WAY!

HEY WAIT! MAYBE SHANK SHOULD TALK TO MOD! MAYBE MOD WANT TO WRITE BLOG OF SHANK! SHANK BET MOD GIVE SHANK LIKE, MAYBE $5,000! OR NO! SHANK BET MOD GIVE SHANK MORE THAN $10,000! SHANK MEANS, SHIFTING GRAVEYARD ONLY HAVE MAYBE 50,000 PEOPLES WATCH! THAT $1 FOR 5 PEOPLES! BUT BLOG OF SHANK?

BLOG OF SHANK ON INTERNETS! ALL PEOPLES ON INTERNETS! WELL, EXCEPT JOSH BRISKOUT, DESS, LEE ASHWORTH, SAM HERSHEY, SCOTT VYPER, THAT ONE GUY THAT LOOK LIKE JACK REYNOLDS, BUT WITH BEARD,TIM TYLER,… WELL, PEOPLES GET IDEA!

SO, MOD! IF MOD WANT TO PAY MONEY TO SHANK AND WRITE SHANK BLOG WHILE SHANK MAKE MOD HUMBLE IN CENTER OF MIDWEST WRESTLING AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON INTERNETS! SHANK TOTALLY HAVE GAME! HAVE PEOPLES OF MOD CALL PEOPLES OF SHANK!

BUT SERIOUSLY! OUTLAW BIKER LEGEND IN BUSINESS! AND, FOR OUTLAW BIKER TO STOOP TO LEVEL OF OUTLAW BIKER OF 2009!, THAT SAD! THIS 2010! YEAR OF BIKER! YEAR OF OUTLAW! OUTLAW BIKER BE #2 IN MIDWETS WRESTLING! AND THAT ONLY ONE SPOT BEHIND SHANK! SHANK NOT INTERESTED IN SEEING OUTLAW BIKER LOOK LIKE WORTHLESS! SHANK WANT TO SEE OUTLAW BIKER BE TOUGH SON OF MOTHER OF OUTLAW BIKER!

AND ADAM PYRE SHOULD SHUT DAMN MOUTH OF ADAM PYRE!

Jane Says 2

Alright, folks it's time for another installment of Jane Says.  A lot to get to during this news report so let's get started.

First, we go to injuries.  As many WMW fans know, Jack Reynolds was injured during Blizzard, by Amariie.  Well, WMW has now confirmed that Reynolds' knee was seriously injured in that match and will require surgery, keeping him on the sidelines for at least 3 months.  We wish Jack Reynolds a speedy recovery and hope he can back in action soon.

Now onto general news.  We've has some big developments here.  Once again, WMW ratings went up as we get closer and closer to breaking the 3 mark once more.  WMW General Manager, Sault St. Marie and WMW Talent Director Wayne Inkster said that they expect this trend to continue given that we are fast approaching the last Graveyard Shift before Groundhog Slay.  Ratings news brings me to the next bit of news, as most viewers know, the official policy of WMW has been to try staying above the wars between the other feds in the WWA.  That policy may have to change after events of the past week.  In Valora's personal blog, she took a shot at HOW wrestler Scottywood, who made disparaging comments about WMW on his twitter.  Scottywood fired back with several of his buddies, and in an amazing show of unity, several WMW wrestlers, including rivals such as Ryven and Kronin and newcomer StormRider, came to Valora and WMW's defense.  The whole thing has led to Valora challenging Scottywood to a series of two interfed matches, one in HOW, one in WMW.  Scottywood reportedly has accepted on the condition that if he wins in HOW, Valora must agree to put the Great Lakes Championship on the line when Scottywood comes into WMW. 

Now, I need to go into some opinion here, I think this is a bad idea.  We all know the quality of wrestler Valora is.  She doesn't need an interfed match against someone like Scottywood to boost her visibility.  I see this as a situation where we have everything to lose and nothing really to win by this set up.  Scttywood holds no gold in HOW save for tag team gold, and during his stint of 6 matches here in the WMW, failed to win the ASC in two tries and had a brief run as tag team champions..  Bottom line, by no way does he deserve a title shot, and worst case scenario, were he to beat Valora twice in a row, we then face the situation of a rival fed holding our top belt.  It would be a devastating loss.  That all being said, I personally think he has a snowball's chance in hell of beating Valora twice simply because Valora has never, ever in her career lost to the same opponent twice.  So, here's to hoping she wins at least one and hopefully both of her matches against Scottywood and is able to defend the honor of WMW.

Of course, recent events have only added fuel to the fire for the caged hell match.  I had a chance to speak with Kronin yesterday as the Valora/Scottywood feud was breaking into high gear and he promised that at the caged hell match in Dream, he would remind everyone why the WWA agreed to let WMW join and did a bit of recruitment on just the rumor of WMW interest in the interfed.  WWA blog, 'Polla to the People' of which I read every week, has picked Joe Drago to win this match.  I will risk sounding biased and pick Kronin.  Kronin is every bit the technical master that Joe Drago is, has had experience in various cell matches before and has a habit of being able to step up and deliver in the big game.  This is not to take away from the fine talent that the other feds are sending.  I think WMW, AW, HOW, DW and DWF are going to give us one hell of a match this Sunday in Orlando, Florida.

In other news around the WMW, Umbrage was named Fighter of the Week, following his and Valora's win over the Tag Team Champs in a non title match up.  This, no doubt adds a bit to the momentum that That Damn Awesome has going into the big 8-man tag team match that pits That Damn Awesome against the former members of the Pinnacle of Power, and on that note, let's look at the upcoming cards for both Graveyard Shift 107 and Groundhog Slay.

Our opening contest pits the returning Wone against the newly signed StormRider.  Wone has had a hard road on his comeback tour, failing to beat Gras-Dawg and Jordan Keyser in recent weeks.  He'll definitely be looking to get a win under his belt here.  As far as the match goes, I see this going either way but I'm going to take a chance and say Wone will win.  He's made no secret about his anger and frustration about losing to Gras-Dawg and Keyser and I don't think he plans on losing to a third straight newcomer.

For our next match, we come to an important match in the Heartlands Division.  Mo'Bad vs Jordan Keyser.  The winner of that match will advance to Groundhog Slay and face Gras-Dawg to determine the number one contender for the Heartlands Title to be defended at Graveyard Shift 108.  I expect that this will be a close, hard fought match but I think Keyser has the slight edge here and I predict a Keyser/Gras-Dawg matchup at Groundhog Slay.

In our next match, we have the first match of an attempted Daughters of Darkness comeback.  Druscilla facing off against Damian Knight, Zana Knight, and Outlaw Biker in a 3 on one elimination handicap match.  Druscilla is known for being, well confident to say the least but even she has a tough match here,  To win, she must defeat all three members of the other team, while they have only to beat her.  Druscilla had some harsh words for Damian Knight and his crew in her promo and is coming for a fight.  It's going to be an interesting match but I have to side with statistics here which say it's almost impossible to win a 3 on 1 handicap match and say that Damian Knight might just pull off a big win and get his name back on the radar.

This match will be followed by part 2 of the attempted Daughters of Darkness comeback tour, Father Nathan vs Amariie.  Father Nathan has been on a major roll as of late, defeating Ryven and Jade in recent weeks.  He now has set his sights on Amariie and I think all the momentum is with Father Nathan.  Amariie is definitely the underdog in this match.

After that, we come to our main event of the card.  That Damn Awesome vs the former Pinnacle of Power.  A win here could really slow the momentum That Damn Awesome has been gathering and might even lead to a rebirth of the Pinnacle of Power.  Even so, this match is loaded with personal feuds and scores to be settled.  Kronin vs AWS Man.  Kronin vs Valora.  Ryven vs Umbrage.  Ryven vs Valora.  Hecate vs Adam Pyre, Hecate vs Valora.

That concludes the upcoming card.  Now let's take a brief look at Groundhog Slay and the matches already booked for that.

First, we have a Heartlands Title match up Damian Knight vs Hecate.  If Damian Knight fails to win this match, he will not get another Heartlands Title shot while Hecate is still champion.  I have to be honest, I've not seen any evidence that Damian Knight can beat Hecate and I think Hecate will win the match and retain the belt.

We also have a WMW Shoot Title rematch as Jade once again defends her Shoot title against Amariie.  Amariie was humbled by Jade the last time they fought as Jade won in very quick, decisive fashion and Amariie, quite frankly, never really laid a hand on Jade.  Now the woman's who ancestor was known as the Dragon of Eastern Europe faces off against China's own Jade Dragon in another match for the Shoot title.  This is Amariie's 4th Shoot title match in recent months and thus it can be safely assumed if she fails to win the title this time, it could be awhile before she gets another shot.  I expect this match will be better then their last match up, but I'm not yet convinced that Amariie can beat Jade.  If Amariie can beat Father Nathan, that might change the landscape a bit but for right now, I'd say Jade is the favorite to retain the Shoot title.

Also scheduled for Groundhog Slay is Gras-Dawg vs the winner of Mo'Bad vs Jordan Keyser to determine the number one contender to the Heartlands Title at Graveyard Shift 108.  Whoever faces Gras-Dawg will have a hard fight on their hands, as Gras-Dawg has won both of his matches in WMW and has looked impressive in each.  Still until I know his opponent, this match is going to be hard to call either way.

Then we get to the big time Tag Team Title match.  A rematch between the champs, Kronin and Ryven and the Hardcore Icons, Umbrage and Valora.  Umbrage and Valora one the first match in a weird match that started off under Hardcore rules and saw Ryven deck Bill Hughes, WMW Ringside commentator.  We're told Ryven has since been fined for that, but as I said, the match started off under hardcore rules and the highlight of that, aside from the even mentioned earlier had to be Kronin breaking his guitar over Valora's head.  However, the match quickly moved into the ring and once that happened, Referee Luna Pier, tried to restore regular rules to the match.  This didn't seem to phase Valora and Umbrage who won but by using nearly every dirty trick in the book.  Ryven and Kronin have not complained, have not made any excuses but there is no question this title match is going to be a grudge match and should definitely be worth seeing.  The Tag Team Champs have made a history of winning when it counts, when the gold is on the line and I have to say they're the favorites going into this match.

Outside of that, we have the All-In Challenge.  A match that will feature nearly every member of the WMW roster at some point during the match, all vying to be the last man or woman standing and thus earn a GLC title shot at Ides of March.  If Valora should win, she will get to hand pick her opponent for said title match.  Some of the favorites in this match are AWS Man, who has won this event two years in a row and is looking for number three and Kronin, who came within a hair of winning this match last year, only to be eliminated by AWS Man.  Kronin's number 2 finish in the match propelled him higher up in the company, proving that you don't always have to win this match to get noticed and move up in the company.  This year, the stage is set for some exciting, battle royal action in this over the top rope elimination style match.

Well, that about wraps up this edition of Jane Says.  Tune in next week when we will really start picking things up and review GS 107 and look ahead to Groundhog Slay.  We'll also have a review of the Caged Hell match and how WMW's rep Kronin fared in the match.  Tune in Next week!

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What the Hell is Valora Thinking? 2

Well, it’s blog time again, I suppose and lo and behold, I just happen to have some things to talk about.

First and foremost, I got a message for a certain ‘Scottywood’ of HOW.  Mother fucker.  You take shots at my fed, you better have the balls to back it up.  I never heard of you, so you ain’t that big and that broken down shit fed of yours HOW is losing money and ratings every week, sounds like you’re on the road to collapse.  Now, you got a problem with WMW, I got a proposition for you.  Let’s hash this out.  2 matches.  One match, I’ll come to Chicago and kick your punk ass from pillar to post, then you’ll come to Cleveland and I’ll kick your punk ass again.  Then after a WMW star beats a HOW star twice in a row, and there aren’t any excuses or shit, maybe you’ll shut your fuckin’ mouth.  One can hope at any rate.  Course, I get the feeling you’re more a talker then a fighter and will probably just run and hide behind your shitty fed that can’t even manage to send someone to a interfed pay per view event without firing them and having to scramble for a replacement.  WMW is the one of the best, if not the best fed in the WWA.  We gain more momentum and popularity with every week.  So sorry to spoil your little fantasy world of ‘WMW being in the shitter.’  Cause that actually your own damn fed that you’re talking bout.  Not WMW.

Now then, Adam Pyre.  The same schmuck who couldn’t figure out how to use the internet, which is my fault, really.  I should have figured since I’ve caught him staring at my laptop with the awe, wonder and a tad bit of paranoid suspicion that he stares at anything he doesn’t get, doesn’t own, or plain doesn’t trust, that he would have no freaking idea of how to look up these spiffy blogs I write.  I’ll have to give him the actual link and trust him to be intelligent enough to type it in.  I just read, and replied on my twitter account that Adam Pyre has challenged the Groundhog at Groundhog Slay.  I’m sure I’m going to have an angry or puzzled Adam ask me why I’m betting on  a rodent to beat him.  Answer is simple, first, it will spur him to beat the shit out of said rodent.  Say what you want bout me, but I know how to motivate people.  Secondly, in an attempt to fulfill my demand of either a groundhog being slain or a groundhog slaying someone at Groundhog Slay.  I went out and I bought a Groundhog, or maybe its a gopher… not sure.  It’s a small, cute, furry, vaguely psychotic looking rodent which fit what I needed so I dropped down the cash for it.  Been trying to teach it how to hold a knife.  Progress has been slow yet better then I expected.  However, I’ve learned those things can be unexpctantly vicious.  What can I say, the furry little bastard has taken my personality and run with it.  All in all, should be a good spectacle to see.  Now, I know some people will see this as an attempt to get back for Adam for that All-In promo he ran but my only reaction was ‘Vascorea?  Seriously?  That was the best he could come up with?’  I was disappointed with the general thrown together at the last minute and lack of effort of the whole thing more then I was upset at him for his poke at me.  People don’t get the relationship between Adam and I, it ain’t a kiddie storybook romance.  Adam Pyre is damn sure no knight in shining armor and I ain’t really a helpless damsel.  When we hang out, we have fun with each other and when we’re not, meh we go our own way. End of story.

So, what to talk about next?  Oh yeah.  How bout the epic beating Umbrage and I threw down on the “Tag Team Champs” RyKro this week?  I’ve heard some people bitch about the way we won, but meh, not cheating if you don’t get caught bitches.  Besides, these same assholes had no problem with Ryven decking Bill Hughes.  Gonna complain about shortcuts and cheating, at least be consistent.  With that win, Umbrage and I added one more match to our cards for Groundhog Slay.  In addition to the All-In Challenge, We got us a tag team title match.  So even if the All-In doesn’t go our way, we got a match that can make the night pretty sweet for us.

Speaking of the All-In, to answer the shit ton of questions I’ve gotten, yes.  I know exactly who I am going to pick should I win the All-In and yes it will it may or may not surprise the hell out of everyone when I make said should pick, assuming I win.  That leads into the next question fans and such have been bombarding me with.  “Valora, how do you feel about Kronin being picked over you for the Interfed event and will you be rooting for Kronin?”

Where to start on this one.  Am I a bit upset at not being sent?  Fucking A right I am.  But, I understand why Sault is waiting a bit before letting his top gun go and wreck some havoc first.  Now, personal issues with people aside, I am loyal to WMW through and through.  I’d root for Amariie or Druscilla, much as I wanna kill both those fucking cunts.  So yes, I will be rooting for Kronin, even bought myself a ticket for the event and will be in the stands, in Orlando to watch the event unfold.  Should make for some fun times and I’m all about the fun times.  Might just visit some old friends of mine while I’m down in the Orlando area as well.  Could be really fun.

Now, to answer the next biggest question, sent in by paranoid WMW fans all over the midwest.  We’re part of the WWA now, and the WWA has a Free Agency program,    So what are the odds of seeing WMW’s favorite sociopath and Hardcore Goddess fighting for another fed?  Well, as I said earlier, I’m very loyal to WMW.  WMW made me famous, it was fighting for WMW that made me as popular a figure as I am.  That being said, anything is possible and I would not rule out giving another fed a shot.  I don’t see me doing that as any other fed that hoped to gain my services would have to lay down a pretty sweet offer, and usually, feds aren’t willing to do that.  So chance that I’d actually leave?  Under 10%, unless WMW Management did something to piss me off, which they’re not likely to do.

Alright, well I’d like to talk some more, but got some serious drinking to do and gotta get a plan together for the big tag team match I’m in tonight.  Sometime soon fuckers better start booking me in singles matches.  Any questions, comments, concerns that you would like to see addressed can be sent to valora@wrestlingmidwest.com.  I’ll go through what I get and respond as I feel warrants.  If you write in just to bitch, save yourself the time and effort, I don’t do much of the verbal warfare with no resolution bullshit.  If you’re willing to talk shit and step in a ring with me, well that’s a different story.

Anyhow, off to get drunk.  Feel free to input whatever signoff bullshit you want.

Valora, WMW’s Queen of Extreme and Great Lakes Champ.

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Jane Says

Big developments this week out of Cleveland and as always, I’m Jane Coughlin from WMW News.  Going to cover some of the current news and happenings, preview the upcoming events, and even give you my thoughts on who will win and, time permitting, will even get to a special preview of the All-In Challenge!

First things, first things.  To confirm earlier news, Audrie McLaughlin’s release was made final earlier this week.  All of us at WMW were sad to see her go and wish her nothing but the best in her future endeavors.  In other news, Josh Briskout escaped any rumors of being in hot water with WMW Management as his contract is currently ‘Per Appearance’ thus WMW is under no obligation to book him, nor pay him if he fails to make a show.  To round out the News Briefs, Kronin was named to be sent to WMW’s first participation in a WWA event, January 31st on Dream Wrestling Federation’s show.  There were rumors and even a few news reports indicating that Valora had been sent but WMW Management came out earlier this week and gave the nod to Kronin, refusing to comment on why he had replaced Valora or if Valora had ever been placed as the original contender.  Currently, the WMW rumormill speculates that Valora is being held back in reserve until some of the other WWA feds place their champions out and are sending Kronin, a former Great Lakes Champion in his own right to kind of test the waters and see just how WWA talent matches up to WMW talent.  Let’s all tune in January 31st and cheer Kronin on!  Go team WMW!

Alright, news briefs done, let’s look at the current card that has been announced for Graveyard Shift 106.  It currently is as follows, though the card is always subject to change:

Wone vs Jordan ‘The Executioner’ Keyser

Hell Rell vs Amariie

Gras-Dawg vs Mo’Bad

Hecate vs Damian Knight (Non-Title)

Father Nathan vs Jade (non-Title)

The Hardcore Icons (Valora/Umbrage) vs Kronin and Ryven in a non title tag team match

As you can see from the card, this will be a critical event for many title races.  Gras-Dawg came out of nowhere and shocked the WMW with a big time win over Wone, a former Great Lakes Champ.  Can he keep the run going over Mo’Bad?  Or will the fun lovin’ Gras-Dawg watch his Mardi-Gras part end early?  If he can win, he will take a big step up in the title races.

Conversely, Father Nathan came through and got a big time win, making Ryven, a noted submission specialist tap out.  Now he faces Jade, a former Great Lakes Champion and current Shoot champion.  If Father Nathan defeats her, can anyone deny him a title shot?  Hecate and Damian Knight square off in a grudge match as Damian Knight tries to keep his hopes for a Heartlands title shot alive in the face or returning star Mo’Bad and rising star Gras-Dawg, both with big wins last week.  Hecate’s Spartan Kick has been banned for this match, severely hampering her arsenal.  Can the Greek technical specialist find a way to topple the giant?  Tune in and see!  We also have a new debuting star this week when former WTF wrestler Jordan Keyser takes on Wone.  Wone will be looking to avoid a second straight loss to a second straight newcomer here while Keyser will be looking to make an impact from his first match on.  If that action weren’t enough for you, we have a massive tag team match that, in my opinion, should be the main event of the night!  Valora and Umbrage, the Hardcore Icons square off against the Tag Team Champs Kronin and Ryven in a match that while may be non-title will definitely have title implications if the Icons can pull off the win.  Valora has been red hot and Umbrage is a bona fide legend in WMW and a member of WMW’s Hall of Fame.  Kronin and Ryven are both considered to be future Hall of Famers and are on a mission to prove that Valora is not invincible as she claims and that she is, mortal and beatable.  They get a chance to prove it this Thursday Night!  To wrap up our coverage of the card, we have Hell Rell taking on Amariie.  Amariie defeated Damian Knight last week in a dark match and has made no secret that she was unhappy with her match being cut from the televised list.  Now she gets a chance this week show WMW management what they deprived the fans of when she takes on Hell Rell, who will be looking to rebound from his tough loss last week.

Our coverage of the upcoming card done, let’s move on to Jane Says, my picks for the week.  I think there are going to be some tough, close matches this week but I think the winners will be as follows:

Wone vs Jordan Keyser – Wone.  I think the returning WMW star will make a rebound and really put the boots to the newcomer, Keyser.  Wone nearly had Gras-Dawg beat a few times last week and I think Wone will have shaken off some of the ring rust and make a comeback.

Gras-Dawg vs Mo’Bad – I expect this to be a hard fought match, but I like Gras-Dawg to win.  Mo’Bad is a great athlete but Gras-Dawg’s sheer size makes him very near to overpowering and that, I think gives him the edge.

Hell Rell vs Amariie – I like Amariie.  I think the loss to Jade was a wake up call to Amariie and she will look to turn her win from last week into a winning streak.

Father Nathan vs Jade – I…I like Father Nathan to win this match.  It will definitely be a hard fought match, but I have to root for Father Nathan just because Jade went a little too ‘Agent Smith’ in her promos for me.  Also, so far in 2010, we have seen huge upsets, I think that trend just might continue here.

Hecate vs Damian Knight – I like Hecate in this match.  I think she will find another way to beat Damian Knight.  She has many, many weapons in her arsenal and she is much faster and agile then the big man.

Hardcore Icons vs Kronin and Ryven – I like the Hardcore Icons.  Kronin and Ryven have developed a habit of dropping non title matches and coming through when the belts are on the line.  Belts aren’t on the line and Valora and Umbrage know how to win.  These two start bar fights just for fun, people!  Come on!  I have to throw my support behind the Hardcore Icons.  They get my pick to win.

That’s all the time we have for now, stay tuned and watch for more reports, and news about what’s going on in the WMWorld, and every so often, my own personal musings and thoughts on how WMW is going and how the state of the business is at present.  Until then, this is Jane Coughlin for WMW News, signing off!  Til Next Time!

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What the Hell is Valora Thinking? 1

So Sault St. Marie comes to me, and tells me that yet another way he’s decided to pimp me out as his little media whore is by having me write a blog.  You believe that shit?  As if I don’t have enough on my fuckin’ plate.  “The fans want to know what you’re thinking!”  He tells me when I’m less then enthused about the idea.  You people really wanna know  what goes on in my twisted little brain?  Really?  Well firstly, you all some sick fuckin’ people then.  Secondly, buckle up cause it’s gonna be a bumpy ride and for the kiddies and the overprotective soccer moms out there… this shit ain’t gonna be PG, cause well… my life ain’t PG.  If you can’t handle it…don’t read.  Obligatory warning out of the way?  Check.  Right then, here….we….GO!

I suppose I should start first by addressin’ the question that every fan and WMW reporter has asked me no less then a hundred times since Blizzard (Seriously, you’d think these people have lives or something.)  “Valora, how does it feel to be Great Lakes Champ?”  How’s it feel?  Well, I don’t know.  Right now it feels like I’ve got a pissed off Hall of Famer (AWS Man) and a pissed off future Hall of Famer (Kronin) all pissed off that I came on in and broke up their little Good Ol’ Boys club.   Dirty secret of pro-wrestling number one kiddies, Male wrestlers can’t fucking stand it when a woman comes in and beats them for a top title.  Ryven couldn’t fuckin’ deal when I ripped the Ace Superior Title from his hands in Mexico City in front of no less then 70-80,000 fans, all screaming my name, and Kronin and AWS Man couldn’t handle it when I flew over all their asses and snatched myself the Great Lakes Championship.  See, I watched Jade.  Watched her win the title and watched her get bent over the table and fucked with no KY Jelly.  Don’t think it was a screw job?  Go back and watch the tape.  Much as AWS Man and Kronin might hate each other, they both agree that a woman Great Lakes Champion makes them look bad.  So…Kronin stabs his Pinnacle partner in the back and AWS Man and Kronin make sure Jade gets eliminated and voila… a man is back on top of WMW.  All is as it should be.  People wonder when the Pinnacle of Power died?  It was that moment right there.

Fast forward a bit and my hot, Latina ass comes along and takes the championship.  Once again the boys are walking around crying.  Once again, their fragile egos are bruised.  Now it seems some genius in WMW management gave the retard Shank his own blog.  Jesus fuckin’ Christ.  To make matters worse, Mr. ‘I’m always injured because I’m a fat, retarded, no talent wrestler!’ is bitching and moaning about he’d be the savior of WMW if only his injuries would let him.  Listen up, grease-boy.  Heal yourself up, step in the ring with me.  Hardcore match.  You beat me, you get the Great Lakes Championship.  When I win, I cut out your fuckin’ Kidneys.  Maybe I’ll even saute them for you, add some hot sauce, make some fava beans and serve ‘em back to you.  Cause I’m just that nice of a gal.  If you decide you aren’t man enough for me, and let’s face it, few are, really.  Go after Jade, she’s kicked your brains in more then once, and LET you win the Heartlands when she had grown bored of it.  Hecate?  Hecate will beat you five ways til sunday…Let’s take the worst woman wrestler in WMW at the moment, Amariie… even she would find a way to beat you.  Most if not all the men in WMW would as well.  You are, without a doubt, the worst wrestler on the roster, Shank.

There, now that I’ve addressed the retard enough for the moment, I’ll move onto important things.  For those of you who tuned in to Graveyard Shift 105, you saw what a tag team match should look like.  The Hardcore Icons, consisting of myself and Umbrage took on Jade and Hecate.  The Mystical wonders, as they might be called.  I don’t know who came up with Hardcore Icons as a name for Umbrage and me, but I like it, and it fits like a barbed wire glove… Ahh… I miss the old barbed wire gloves.. but I digress.  Umbrage and I won, cause well, that’s what he and I do.  Find ways to win, plain and simple.  Now, WMW is making a big mistake, throwing us at the Tag team champs in a non title match.  When we win that, we’ll get a title match.  When we win that, WMW’s golden boy, Kronin will find himself with no titles at all, won’t he?

Anyways, speaking of Umbrage, he and I have a meeting at a local bar.  Go out drinking, Clevelanders, if you’re lucky, you might share a bar with Valora and Umbrage.  If you are that lucky, I don’t recommend talking to us unless you’re buying the next round.

Til the next time I have something to warrant me typing it out angrily,

Valora Woman wrestler and Great Lakes Champ.  Deal with it.

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THIS IS BLOG OF SHANK!

THIS EPISODE OF SHANK SHOW WHERE SHANK TALK ABOUT SHANK BLOG! THAT RIGHT! SHANK HAVE BLOG! IT BLOG OF SHANK! AND KNOW WHAT SHANK TALK ABOUT IN FIRST BLOG OF SHANK! BLOG OF SHANK GREAT, SHANK RIGHT?

BUT, SHANK ALSO TALK ABOUT AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) AND KRONIN AND RYVEN AND ADAM PYRE!

SO, SHANK SIT IN ROOM, AND WATCH WHAT SHANK HEAR IS MIDWEST WRESTLING SHIFTING GRAVEYARD 105! AND IT MAKE SHANK SAD! KNOW WHY? BECAUSE, HERE STAND JADE, HECTARE, DRUSCILLA AND VALORA SALINAS! ALL GIRLS THINKING GIRLS REAL LEADERS OF MIDWEST WRESTLING! LIKE, NO ONE STOP JADE, HECTARE, DRUSCILLA AND VALORA?

PFFT!

THAT MAKE SHANK LAUGH NOW! SHANK THINK THAT MAYBE AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) AND KRONIN AND RYVEN AND ADAM PYRE NOT AS GOOD AS AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) AND KRONIN AND RYVEN AND ADAM PYRE THINK THAT AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) AND KRONIN AND RYVEN AND ADAM PYRE ARE!

IT CRIMINAL TO SHANK THAT AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) AND KRONIN AND RYVEN AND ADAM PYRE JUST LAY DOWN AND LET WOMANS OF MIDWEST WRESTLING HOLD ALL TITLES! AND IF SHANK WAS AT 100%, WELL, MAYBE SHANK HAVE TO TAKE OUT ALL WOMANS OF MIDWEST WRESTLING BY SELF OF SHANK!

ESPECIALLY HECTARE! HECTARE HOLDING TITLE OF CHAMPION OF HEARTLANDS IS TRAVESTY! HECTARE NOT REPRESENT TRUE MIDWEST! HECTARE SHOULD HOLD TITLE OF WOMANS! THAT WAY, HECTARE AND ALL WOMANS OF MIDWEST CAN FIGHT FOR IT AND LEAVE TRUE TITLES OF MIDWEST WRESTLING TO THE TRUE FIGHTERS HERE IN MIDWEST WRESTLING!

THEN AGAIN, SHANK SEE HOW POORLY MIDWEST WRESTLING BECOME WHEN SHANK NOT HERE! WELL, SHANK HERE! SO, GET OFF ASSES OF AWS MAN (ALSO KNOWN AS BILL) AND KRONIN AND RYVEN AND ADAM PYRE! TAKE BACK MIDWEST WRESTLING!

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Post Graveyard Shift 105 thoughts

First time teaming together and Jade and myself took two tag team legends to the limit. We will only get better from here, Jade and Hecate as a tag team will be around for awhile after talking with Jade post show. Damian Knight, the Spartan Kick isn't the only way I have to knock people out as you will find out come Graveyard Shift 106